To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. (Paul Ehrlich)
Daily Chat – 22nd Nov 2008
201 Comments to “Daily Chat – 22nd Nov 2008”
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Morning Duncan.
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Rugby League World Cup Final this morning. Australia vs New Zealand.
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Morning Saul
You mastered the TaiKai ?
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I wonder if anyone will be tempted? 10,000 is small change for a premiership footballer. The PL have threateneed to discipline any player that does it.
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morning all
Is it still friday?
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Morning Nosey
It is if you haven’t been to bed yet
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ta Duncan!!!
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Guten morgen damen und herren!
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wis gehts einen?
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I can’t spell in german either… -
I thought I was on dodgy ground….
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and?
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With my German spelling!
Get with it woman!
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Always a few steps behind…
and extra couple of smileys for you on this lovely sunny evening. -
arghhh!
Don’t do that.
It’s a lovely sunny MORNING… what’s all this ‘evening’ shit? Have you emigrated to Oz overnight?
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I’m going to bed in a little while so it must be evening. innit
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New Zealand defeated the 1 to 9 on favourites Australia 34-20 in the World Cup final.
Don’t you love it when the underdogs win.
Off now to see some Trotters get trampled.
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just got all sorted out on the right login and password and now I’ve been given work ffs. Buggeration. All I know is Wales are definitely playing New Zealand today and I should be there to cry me a river no matter what the end result may be.
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Cool. Its all still working even though its still a boring avatar…I will be back to try and sort at least that out when people stop giving me stuff to do. Unless I forget who I am again
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Randie LOL, you’re so definately in the right place if you keep forgetting who you are!!
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Bugger!
Have I missed the new super-ADSL version of Randie?
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nobbly you show off…
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guess who’s gotta compooooooter??
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Gloria!!!! Yippeee – your very own????
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Saul will be happy.
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Aye, our very own. I don’t think Saul will actually be happy!
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awww sucks Glors, you know how he loves it when you chase him around the tables….
Now is it a ‘posh’ one or a cobbled together, ‘don’t turn it off incase it never starts again’ job?
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‘show off’, why?
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It’s a cobbled together one again, I’m afraid so I won’t bank on being part of the cafe clan for long. But it is nice to be able to pop in without having a tweedy librarian glaring at me! Plus the waddle into town was in danger of toning my nethers, whereas now I can just sit and stuff my face and type twaddle; from waddle to endless twaddle in one easy step. Yeah!
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you know what ADSL is.
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A ‘pooter, Gloria?
Is it a posh one wiv a screen an’ everything?
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Glorai – you been looking at my web cam again!!
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ADSL = Anybody Done Sauls Laundry
right?
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burble…
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It’s a peddle-driven ‘pooter, hewn from local sedimentary rock, uses BC Basic and Barney Rubble plugged it in yesterday.
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Nobbly – PMSL I suppose he may have taken it round Mrs T’s the other night when she was necked.
Gloria – THE Barney Rubble?
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Peddle-driven?
How ‘green’ is that!!
Mine’s steam powered, and needs stoking with non-sustainable fossil fuels every now and again.
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THE Barney Rubble. The very one.
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Sadly, being pedal-driven, this ‘pooter requires operators of a certain stamina and … gasp … wheeeeze …. puff …. ………………………………..
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…………………………… gasp …. I have no more stamina that you might expect of a woman of my proportions.
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Mine works fine on a continuous Caffeine and glucose drip and Nicotene nebulizers.
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Gloria – Boll***s, you just want to play with your ginger pussy(s)
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I’ve just had to have a Flake to keep my strength up. I think I’m going to have to have a packet of HobNobs with a flask of sweet tea in case I feel a bit giddy. (and I’m not sure all this pedalling is making my calves look any better..)
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Saul will be able to tell you, he’s probably hiding under the table…
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Ah! Those furry purries! Now you’re talking!
Would you believe it? The Oestrogen Kid is telling me to get off this bloody thing because she wants to BeeeeBoo her Face-ache-face-mates! So it looks like I’m being shoved off already.
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OMG! What a thought! I hope he has very poor eyesight and a very strong stomach!
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Anyway, it’s time I had a few jam sandwiches, so back later y’all.
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He does sail the oceans , so i suspect he’s seen a thing or two.
My angel is the teenager from hell today stomping around the house – we should introduce them on bebo, they could compare notes about daft mothers.
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seee ya Gloria mmmmwwwwwhhhhh x
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Chelsea 0-0 Newcastle
Liverpool 0-0 Fulham
Man City 2-0 Arsenal
Middlesbrough 0-2 Bolton
Portsmouth 1-1 Hull
Stoke 0-0 West BromOh dear…
Saul will be most pissed off.
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teheheh – so there is a God!
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After I’d sampled most of the Chocolate Biscuit Assortment washed down with a pint of Cola, I seemed to have the fortitude to persuade Oestrogen Kid that my computer drivel is more worthwhile than her computer drivel and she’s been lovingly replaced by me. Ha! I feel a little frail now after the clash of personalities, so I’m having a slab of Victoria Sponge to calm my nerves.
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1636: GOAL Middlesbrough 1-3 Bolton
That ends that fightback then. Bolton go straight up the other end and Johan Elmander beats the defender before firing into the corner. Classy goal that, worthy of an £8.2m striker. 63 seconds between the goals.1635: GOAL Middlesbrough 1-2 Bolton
A goalmouth scramble ends with Emanuel Pogatetz smashing the loose ball home.OH DEAR… OH DEAR…
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Am I allowed?
Hier kommie bokkie … hier kommie bokke ….
And … I’m NOT sober ……..
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…. in akshuaaal fekt ….. I’m rawther pished … and it’s rawther difficult typing these here words …..
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Hi Julie,
Score as I predicted…..
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Yep Nobbly …. well done! I enjoyed the game though ….
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I didn’t watch it Julie.
I saw a bit of the Irish game, and some of Wales vs All Blacks.
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Do you know what the score was?
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I saw the inside of the biscuit barrel and another episode of Columbo.
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Murderer 0, Columbo 1.
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GLORIA!!!! U bloody oversized cow … I’m deseprately tryintg to type neatly here …. ish not working :grn:
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Oh dear
even the broad smile diidddn’t work …. ok, ok, I’m not shober ok? 
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& now Spammy (fuckim) has decided I’m not good enough … and tossed me into mods AGAIN …. I’m gonna get you SPAMMIE
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Ok … is it time for me to duck over to the other side
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Hi Julie
Was just passing when I head a scream from the Spammer.
What have you been up to to upset it so? :lol
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Helloooooooo?
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Kisses to you me little b*****
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Hiya Druncan
… I’m pished coz the bokke SLAUGHTERED the Englisheshes … I can’t type properlyishlike at the mo … and now Spamie is taking advantage of the weak -
Julie, my elasticated-waist is stretched to breaking point and I’ve just swigged my first glass of L’Iverblaster Plonkette; I’ll be right behind you in the typo stakes in a while. Soon it’s off to the takeaway for 6,000 calories of highly seasoned nibbles and then a few deep-fried marshmallows in choccy sauce for pud. (still pedalling this computer …)
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Duncy … :sob: why I am always in moderation? It brings back baaaad memories
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P.S. I’m not exactly sober meself
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… all this mention of Spam … perhaps I could manage a few Spam Fritters as an ‘amuse bouche’ …
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Glo! MARSHMALLIES … bring em on
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2nd glass of Plonkette down the hatch, dear girl!
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Shecond glass …. twas a long time gone ……………..
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I’m hungry ……. FFFFFFOOOOOOODdd PLEASE
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Julie said
why I am always in moderation?
Bugger me (please don’t) if I know !!!
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I’m doing baked potatoes at the moment if anyone’s interested ?
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… rustle, rustle … does the tiny but tell-tale rustle of a distant Stealth Hippo still cause a quickening in the lower digestive tract, oh dearest Duncan?
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PLEEEEEEZ ……I’m staaarviing …..
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Gloria, I’m shitting myself
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Hang on girl, I’m just arranging attractive triangles of Spam Fritter into a double spiral … add a suggestion of chopped coriander and a few slices of pickled egg … Voila! Feast away!
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Oh dear. Should I market my proximity as a laxative then? Gloria’s Bum Un-bung?
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FooD
Yumee yumee …. food -
Swap you one baked potato with cheesy garlic filling on a bed of romaine lettuce and sliced tomato, drizzled with a vinegar/Jamaican Hot Pepper Sauce for one of those spam fritters.
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Now I’m entering kitchen …I’m ravenous ….. I shall see you later …..
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Make it TWO baked potatoes with all the above, and it’s a deal (remember, I’m pedalling enough for all of tubby womanhood here to keep this stone age computer going..)
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TaRa … food calls ….
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Bye Julie
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Enjjoy Juuliee
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did I miss dinner?
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I hope you didn’t and I hope I didn’t either. (pedal, pedal)
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well I was busy muching salmon baked on a bed of noodles with cream and white wine sauce. followed by the biscuit tin!!
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villa 0 man u 0
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Ooooh! That sounds like a large and yummy plateful, and I’ve got such a tiny tummy, I couldn’t possibly wolf that down and then nip out to the Noodle Bar for 8 family-sized cartons of yumminess. So I won’t. Or at least I won’t broadcast the fact to Carmen’s other more abstemious customers. Anyway, I’m celebrating the fact that the wonderful woodburner fire has been lit tonight for the first time this winter and is now putting out so many ergs that the kittens’ fur is melting to their little ribcages and we’ve had to open the creaky windows so we don’t all melt!
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Stuck in’t spammer
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sounds lovely, we goy the front room fire lit, even though its still cowlless! so i am to retire infront of it and get my sat night fix of cowells another way!
see you later gprgeous gloria.
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Now you two love birds be good now x
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Mmmmwwwaaaaahhh noseylovelybird!
Coo! Coo! (remember the Coo-Coo Pigeon Sisters in the Odd Couple?)
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Just need to finish spitting feathers and thaw out with some hot chocolate and a Blue Riband, then I’ll be right with you.
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Would you like the remains of an Aztec Bar?
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Exotic!!
That’s some very fetching pedal pushers you are sporting there Toots.
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and I’ve got a fluffy Murray Mint stuffed in the hem of my knicker leg ..
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…grunt .. pedal … munch … post … deep-fry a Mars bar … pedal … chew … puff … pedal … eat deep-fried Mars Bar … pedal … glad you noticed!
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Steady on, I almost spilled my sherbert fountain then….
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Actually, we are all going out for a few more calories, so back later! Mmmwah! xx (Melvyn needs some new shoes; see you at the Family Counselling Session on Thursday …)
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Oops! Dab it quickly with a sheet of Bounty!
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I’m just going to get a Jubbly out of the freezer compartment to stick on the back of my neck.
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‘It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas …. tra la la la la. By ‘eck, what’s been going off in here then? Mars bar and aztec wrappers everywhere! Is that a murray mint on the floor …..
Right, I’d better make a list …. not long to go now.
1) Ask Carmen about tree …… artificial or real.
2) If real, get some spray cos Saul will do nowt but moan about pine needles.
3) Where to put it …… aha, chuck out karaoke machine.
4) Get chimney swept …. I’m sure Saul has still got his chimney brushes …. that’ll keep him busy for an hour or two.
5) Logs for fire ……. make sure Saul’s chopper is in fine fettle.
‘ Chestnuts roasting by an open fire …… la la la la la’
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make sure Saul’s chopper is in fine fettle
How are you proposing to do that, Mrs T ?And does Mr T know ?
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Time to think about which Pantomime we will be performing, plus a cast list.
We will need a Principal Boy, any of you Ladies good at slapping your thighs?
(cue Nobbly and Duncan’s slapper jokes)
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Did you hear the one about Nosey and the band of the Grenadier Guards?
No?
Well…… maybe not. It’s a bit predictable.
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I suppose I could ask him Duncan.
Saul …… how’s your chopper?
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Ready for the beanstalk.
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Don’t encourage the bugger MrsT.
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Did I miss theGredadier Guards?
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Not according to what I’ve heard.
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All of them?
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Spammed again.
You’re out now – see above (Nobbly)
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Including the regimental mascot, apparently.
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Ii always say that life is too short, one should never waste an opportunity…
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Life for me has always been too bloody short.
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Talking of which… looks like Julie hasn’t sobered up yet.
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I wouldn’t mind being the back of the pantomime horse Saul – but it depends on who’s gonna be the front
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Shouldn’t that be.. see below Nobbly
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I though I was supposed to be the aggrieved party at the back?
The fartee as opposed to the farter.
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I wasn’t thinking past hugging Ronaldo’s bum all evening, hands round his waist, under cover of a … oh I’m just gonna check out the freezer…
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…and what if young Cristiano had just scoffed a plate of beans sur la toast for his post-match tea?
Would you still be hanging on in there?
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mmmm what do you think
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Yippeee – Rachel’s out!!!!!
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I’m very happy for her.
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Yuk, whats that? Chewing gum? ughhhh stuck to the bottom of my shoe
Fess up you lot, who’s been spitting out?
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Saul – so am I
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Thank gawd for that!
Mind you Eggnog should have gone weeks ago.
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Has somebody been trying to load up an avatar for moi?
I’ve got a red cross instead of the usual grey lady.
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yeah – but at least hes sweet
hiya Mrs T – all better at yours? -
alright….
Who is Rachel, and what is she out of?
I presume we’re talking Jungles, singing competions or dancing competions, and not loose change for the ‘Big Issue’ seller near the door.
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I thought it was grey bloke?
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Spooky – the grey lady is back.
Little ‘un came down with an ear infection, but otherwise we are all getting back to normal – whatever that is. Thanks for asking Nosey.
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Nobbly – shes and ex con drug addict with 5 (or 6) kids 3 (or 4) of whom are in the care of social services, and she’s finally been booted out of the X Factor.
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‘Your saturday night starts here’ – the X Facor Nobbly.
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How come? Could she actually sing properly?
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I could mean X Factor as well
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Liked to throw wobblys Nobbly.
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I’ve been referred to as ‘that fecker Nobbly’ but never an ‘X facor Nobbly’
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Noobly – some times she was excellent – others crap – big attitude bad attitude shone through…
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a wobbly nobbly? could be too much to drink that causes that.
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You little facor, you.
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Away with ye Nosey….
you don’t expect me to believe that someone on the X-factor was ever ‘excellent’ do you.
“I don’t believe it”
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I’m not going to win this one. am I?
I’ll shut up.
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Result!
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when was the last time you watched it nobby???
You never find me commenting on stuff that I know nothing about
ROTFL -
Saul ????
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Sorry Nosey, just the usual joke at your expense.
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Saul, it was Nobbly who said he was going to shut up, not Nosey!
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Oops sorry again, must get some glasses.
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Make sure they’re full of ale.
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Sorry Nobbly, I crossed the line between smart arsed comment and trying to be funny.
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We’ve got a ghost. My grey lady disappeared again, there was just a white box then she reappeared. The cafe’s haunted!
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Saul – have another drink – you’re far to apologetic this evening
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How about Ratty as a Pantomime Dame?
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In a Biggin’s sort of way Saul?
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He might fit the ‘bill’.
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Or an Albert Steptoe sort of way?
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Or Les Dawson even.
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‘ lazy, stubborn, narrow-minded, foul-mouthed, and has revolting personal habits.’ kind of way. you mean?
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Still up luvvies? Room for a fatso inside? (expecting the answer ‘No’ and the winds to whisk the tumbleweed ad infinitum)
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Hello Toots!
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I’m sure we can squeeze you in BigG.
Saul, widen that front door a touch would you mate?
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Ratty if you’re reading this, that was the Wiki explanation of Albert Steptoe, not mine.
I would never call you anything like that ……..
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oliver reed even?
hiya gorgeous gloria!
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It’s OK MrsT… I don’t think he’s listening.
By the time that gets through the dodgy internet connections in Casablanca, we’ll be long gone.
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Gloria! how you doodling sweetie?
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I’m counting on it Nobbly.
Love ya Ratty!
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MrsT: we really ARE haunted here. Old cottage, history of nutters, my toddlers saw ‘angry man’ upstairs, 6-year-old son saw ‘angry man’ patrolling underneath his bedroom window, I see a man walking round outside; strange but true.
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my kids and me get to see an angry man in this house, most days.
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I often see a strange man in my house Gloria – I call him husband
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I’m doodling amply, thanks Toots! Nosey, I am filled to the very brim with scoff and hooch! Nobbly, I am able to squidge the amplitude through the merest hint of an open door and I’m doodling with gay abandon, thanks! Now don’t you all bugger off and leave me here with the saloon door swingin’ on its creaky hinges..
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Well, of course Old Smuddy counts as a strange man, but my world would be so much stranger without him. I think I’ll keep him if I can.
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Toots!
Term of entrapment…errr I mean endearment
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Look !!!!!!!!! The red cross is back!
All this talk of ghosts ……..
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hey – Saul us women can use whatever means, fair or foul to catch and keep our prey.
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mrs T – you’re seeing things. you’re still the grey man here.
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Oh my, the grey lady is back.
Quick, somebody get a man with a cross or a stake or summat!
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grey, grey, grey…. not a red cross in sight.
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with all this talk of ghosts, this particular zombie is going to retire to dreamland. Be good now – and no sticking gum in all those secret places round the cafe. Saul gets mad when he comes to dispense of it.
night all
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see ya nosey.
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I’m telling you, I’m not seeing things! But I’d better have a brandy to calm me nerves.
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You sure you’re not thinking of Benitez, MrsT. He’s red and was a bit cross about today’s draw.
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You can pass that brandy over here if you like, though.
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Infiltrated by the Knights Templar. It’s a conspiracy!
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Didn’t they have halos, and drove round in Volvo P1800s?
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He’d every right to be I suppose Nobbly – could have gone 3 points clear and Manyoo could only draw.
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More reds who were cross then….. they’re bloody everywhere.
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Simon says good night.
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I think I’ll do as Simon says as well.
Good Knight all.
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Oh that’s it, just leave me here on my own with the spooky avators!
S’okay, I’m not frightened, I’m tough, I can handle it ………………………………………… WAIT FOR ME !!!!
