We’re all subject to it at some stage – the dreaded ‘performance review’ or ‘appraisal’ at work.
Regular readers of the MH will know I’ve recently been an unwilling participant in such a review at my own place of work. Ggrrrrr !!!
To fully understand how well your performance has been rated by your employer and what your standing is within the company it is essential that you learn ‘boss-speak’ – the real meaning of those words or phrases your boss may use to describe you to other Managers.
As a helpful guide, the MadHatters are happy to publish here a few examples of ‘boss-speak’ – and their meaning.
Boss-speak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Definition
Judgement is usually sound . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lucky
Takes pride in his work . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conceited
Forceful and aggressive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Argumentative
Conscientious . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Scared
Strong adherence to principles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Stubborn
Zealous attitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Opinionated
Quick thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Offers plausible excuses for mistakes
Tactful in dealing with supervisors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Knows when to keep his mouth shut
Gets on well with supervisors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Gutless
Approaches difficult situations with enthusiasm . . . . . Delegates
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress . . . Arse-licker
Keen sense of humour . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Vast repertoire of dirty jokes
Exceptionally well qualified . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Has committed no major blunders
Shows initiative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Covers for bosses mistakes
Demonstrates qualities of leadership . . . . . . . . . . . . Talks too much
A keen analyst . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Makes mountains out of molehills
Indifferent to instructions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Knows more than his boss
Active socially . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Drinks heavily
Spouse is active socially . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Spouse also drinks
Good staff relations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Too friendly with the opposite sex
Mature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Retires next year
Immature . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Still plays cricket
Would benefit from wider experience . . . . . . . . . . . . Get rid of the bastard
