Writing Badly Really Well

by duncanr

quill200Do you aspire to be a writer?

There are all sorts of ‘creative writing’ courses out there offering advice on how to turn that great idea in your head into a best-selling novel

Alternatively, you could start by reading Joel Stickley’s blog offering advice on what NOT to do if you are intent on creating your masterpiece.

Tip 1 – do not overuse a Thesaurus !!! (see example of such below)

She manipulated the garment in a cogitative mode.
‘Hmm,’ she vocalised. ‘This attire is verifiably marvellous. What is it constituted from?
‘From the most meritorious velveteen,’ defined her interlocutor, simpering coincidentally.
‘Is it?’ iterated the party of the first part. ‘That’s felicitous.’
‘Additionally, this specified object has the property of being subdivided in terms of its defining mercantile characteristic, and can be taken possession of for the diminutive quantity of merely a half-dozen currency units,’ the retail employee informed.
‘Exoneration?’ supplicated the protagonist appropriately. The commercial tertiary sector worker eyeballed her perspicaciously.
‘I said it’s five ninety-nine. Do you want it or not?’

Click here for more ‘what not to dos’


4 Comments to “Writing Badly Really Well”

  1. unfortunately I see a lot of this sort of writing when blog trolling :-(

  2. As I sit here, trolling instead of my morning writing , I find this… an indictment of writers! Alas, alack!
    Admonishment indeed, as my newly gifted Thesaurus sits open near my writing chair!

  3. Take a deep breath, DF.

    Then slowly but surely stretch out a hand towards that foul thesaurus. Pick it up . . . . then throw it into the far corner of the room.

    You’ll feel much better having done so :wink:

  4. Is bog snorkling a euphemism for blog trolling?

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