Frater Osiris Xnoubis (bet that’s not what his parents called him) was sentenced to 3.1/2 yrs in jail yesterday for armed robbery.
I know what you’re thinking – so what?
Apart from the funny name, why has this bank robbery caught my eye?
Hhmm, seems Xnoubis entered the HSBC branch in Terminus Road, Eastbourne dressed head to toe in black leather and passed a note to the cashier demanding she empty the contents of her till into a bag he had helpfully brought with him for this purpose.
When he left the bank a few moments later – £6,570 richer than when he entered – he told the cashier to ‘have a nice day’ then walked a few yards down the street to a pub, where he ordered a bottle of beer, handed the barmaid a £20 note and told her to keep the change.
Having drunk his beer he sauntered over to a nearby Cafe, emptied his ill-gotten gains on the counter and told folk to help themselves. While they were doing so, he then took a stroll to the local police station and handed himself in.
His defending lawyer produced evidence in court that at the time of the robbery he was not mentally ill but was suffering from depression.
you’d be scared to go near him cuz he looks like he’s going to pull out a razorblade and cut you up.. but he doesn’t.. everyone in eastbourne knows him and hes really nice.. 
