I was driving down a local road on Sunday evening, when I saw a herd of local oiks (chavus urbanis) milling about in the middle of the road. As I slithered towards them on the snowy surface, they legged it, revealing three bloody great snowballs (about 4foot diameter) blocking the road.
I skidded gracefully to a halt, and observed the little bar-stewards running up a nearby footpath. However, two of the bolder ones had stayed at the kerb to see what I did.
I slid my window down and said,
“Come on lads – get ‘em shifted, please.”
“Can’t!” sneered the head chav (the apostrophe is mine – I doubt that he’d have used one if he were writing instead of sneering)
“You dozy little twat – isn’t it past your bedtime?” I retorted, rather foolishly.
I say ‘foolishly’ as I only just hit the button to shut the window before a big fuck off snowball hit the glass. I would have looked and felt a prize pillock if it had hit me square in the mush.
Anyhow, the oiks departed, and I got out to roll these big heavy buggers out of the road, to a chorus of jeers from the other end of the footpath.
Like I said in the title, this guy has the right idea!
