Should Women settle for 2nd Best ?

by duncanr

Lori Gottlieb’s new book, Marry Him: The Case For Settling For Mr Good Enough, has stirred up strong reactions.

The core message of the book is that by holding on to an idealised vision of Mr Right, women risk ending up alone in later life. Fine if that is what they want, but if they want to have a lover/companion and kids then it is better for them if they lower their standards and accept a man who is almost, but not quite Mr Right.

In other words – stop waiting for the perfect man and marry the first half-decent one who’ll have you !!! :roll:

Read the arguments for and against this proposition here . . .

29 Comments to “Should Women settle for 2nd Best ?”

  1. Women do this all the time. That is why you see ugly men with good looking women and wonder why.

  2. Forget about the baby part of it (I’ve done my bit for mankind already – so that’s not what I’m looking for in a man anymore).

    I’ve also done the marriage part of it, and after 16 ½ years we got divorced (so I think I’ve experienced that side of it as well), I don’t think I’ll ever get married again.

    Since my divorce (almost 9 years ago now) I think I’ve been looking for ‘company’ in a man. I’m not the type of person who likes to be alone, and I get along with men much better than I get along with women (most of my friends are male, and I only have one very close female friend). As a result of my yearning for ‘company’ (companionship?) I have jumped headlong into some of the most awful relationships.

    When I met current b/f (who most of you know is much older than me), I thought I’d found the perfect partner – we’ve been together for 4 ½ years now, but sadly, I’m beginning to realise that being with a much older man is not making me happy.

    We have a beautiful home together, we never fight and he worships the ground I walk on – but it’s simply not enough for me! I want to enjoy life, I want to go out, I want to go camping, I want to go boating, I want to go on wild, romantic holidays … I just want to have FUN! His idea of fun is sitting at home in front of his computer, and basically, he is just too old to keep up with me now! In the early days of our relationship, I had difficulty in keeping up with him (was this all a façade to keep me?), but then slowly as he appeared to get into a comfort zone, the fun all stopped.

    Am I settling for second best, simply because I don’t want to hurt him? I think so, it’s a tough decision to make!

  3. Well heck Nobbles, I needed to get it off my chest … this seemed like the perfect spot to dump all my troubles! (Thank goodness b/f doesn’t pass by here)!

    Thank bloody goodness I didn’t come keep you lot company in that shed …. the shenanigans!!!! :grin:

  4. This anything to do with your foul mood the last couple of days ?

  5. May I offer a different take on this problem (the original article, not Julie’s dilemma)?

    Why would any woman want to take up with a man? There is NOTHING that they cannot do on their own, including the sperm donor role that males were required for until about 30 years ago.

    In so called modern society, men are redundant.

    (PS and I have hazel’s permission to say so!)

    • *Nods head in agreement, and giggles*

      So glad you added the last line – was going to tell you to watch out for incoming slap from behind :grin:

  6. When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped . . . my mother.

    But I always managed to pull good-looking women.

    P.S. I’m not called “Donkey” because of the shape of my ears.

  7. Ya’ll are all too funny.
    I sympathize with you Julie.
    I don’t really know how to address that article. I dislike the idea of telling women to “settle” and can’t imagine urging anyone i know to marry for the baby and just hope the marriage is tolerable! And yet, I like being in relationship and would not want to be alone.

  8. Just cheat on him Julie, he’ll never know and . . . voila, everyone’s happy!

    Anyone else in need of advice?

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