I wanted to phone a friend last night using our housephone. I had their number stored in my cell phone so I opened my address book, dialled their number using the landline handset and put the cell phone down on the floor beside me (I squat on the floor in the evening while the dogs sit on the sofa) 
During our conversation I heard the characteristic tone alerting me to the fact someone had sent me a text message.
While my friend was speaking, I glanced round for my cell phone to see who had texted me (who said men can’t multitask !!!). There was no sign of it. I knew it was around somewhere but couldn’t see it. Then two things happened at once.
Just as my friend said ‘I think someone’s trying to call me’, the eldest of our two dogs, who was sitting beside me on the floor, stood up – revealing my missing cell phone. She’d only gone and sat on it – dialling my friend’s number with her a*se.
Can you hear me ?
One of them accidentally called 911 on their cell phone (how the hell do you do that?) while they were discussing which cars to break into -allowing cops to eavesdrop on their conversation throughout their heist and catch them red-handed
Hhmm, not so much ‘cops and robbers’ as ‘cops and plonkers’
I caught Mudbaby’s father out once – well, actually the dickhead caught himself out. He phoned me to tell me how hard he was working, and was quite far away so he wouldn’t be home until very, very late … THEN he forgot to push the ‘end call’ button, and I hung on the other end of the phone listening to him explaining to his floozy what a tough life he had with me 
(He never was the sharpest pencil in the box)
