Team GB Cunning Olympic Plan

by duncanr

The 2012 Olympic Games are almost upon us and Team GB is hoping for a record medal haul.

Recognising that mental attitude, and concentration, are just as essential to success as physical fitness, Team GB, have devised a cunning plan to confuse, confound, and disrupt the mental preparedness of these damn foreign types

Stage 1 of this cunning plan was trialled yesterday against the USA and Australia Olympic Teams with coach drivers pretending to be lost and . . . taking the athletes on lengthy detours before delivering them to their destinations – as one exasperated US athlete tweeted . . .

“Um, so we’ve been lost on the road for 4hrs. Not a good first impression London.
“Athletes are sleepy, hungry and need to pee. Could we get to the Olympic village please?

(http://tinyurl.com/d98yycl)

Well done, chaps. More of the same once the games start will do very nicely, thank you. An athlete delivered to the Olympic Venues just moments before their event is due to start, and in desperate need of a pee, is at a disadvantage when competing against our sterling chaps and chapesses.

Stage 2. In a masterstroke of psychological warfare, There will only be enough security personel on hand to protect Team GB athletes from attack by terrorists or religious nutters. Other countries athletes will have to look after themselves. There is nothing more likely to disrupt an athletes concentration than worrying if someone out there is planning to ‘get them’

A knighthood is the very least that should be conferred on G4S boss Nick Buckles for this fiendishly clever ruse (

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3 Comments to “Team GB Cunning Olympic Plan”

  1. Surely Usain Bolt in need of a pee is likely to run even faster.

    Like

  2. It took us 3 hours to get from the airport to our hotel in London. I think when we actually got to the city, I saw Big Ben 3 times before we reached our hotel.

    Like

    • Bloody hell, Bearman.

      I live about 200 miles from Heathrow, and last time I was there, I drove back home in not much more than 3 hours.

      ….and that Ben bloke didn’t appear even once.

      Like

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