Two Cows

by The Madhatters

World Economies explained

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but . . you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call
the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.

via B&P

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22 Comments to “Two Cows”

  1. Mad Hatters Corporation:
    You have two cows named Julie and Uniscikill.
    Other mad hatters try not to tell cow jokes.
    Both cows are plotting revenge.

  2. That’s hilarious!

    Little unfair to New Zealand–but altogether hilarious!

  3. So that’s where he’s been, on aid to the Met for Sport’s day.

    Who’d have thunk it, eh – our sticky being five-oh !

    • Look, mate – a pig’s bigger than a rat, ain’t it? I could have you down wiv me size ten at the back of your scrawny fucking rat neck in less than a… less than a… anyway, in no time at all. Time? Yes, sir, it’s just gone ten past ten. Good day, sir.

      Anyway, you cu…

      • . . . Oh yes, I cun !

        • I cunt give a damn whether you cu or cun, matey – yore nicked! Oi, lads! Got one to go in the back!

          “Yeah, better cage him, eh, stick? Huh! Huh! Huh!”

          “I told you you ought to have put a tail on him! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!”

  4. Well that explains a lot!

    • You better wotch it, Binky-boy – I’m not averse to a bit of wom-batting in me spare time….

      Oh, sorry, Binky, I’ve got my old avatar back – what a nasty piece of work that PC Wanker was!

      Love and peace, man!

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