Posted on August 1, 2012 at 5:53 pm in Uncategorized | RSS feed
By way of a change from a simple caption – let’s have a paragraph or two to paint a more graphic picture.
For once I am at a loss for words.
“Beverly Hillbillies: The Next Generation”
I said “chop the cockerel”, not “chop the cock, Nell” Sheez!!!!
OK then…let’s not.
Despite a gender-reassignment, Maisie-May is still getting flashbacks to the time when, tazer in hand, she was Sergeant Joey Demaine of the Ozark PD.
Meanwhile, uncle Jeb, caught taking a shit in the woodpile, holds the basin against his genitals, in the hope that it will increase the bio-electric effect.
“Elmer! Git ya banjo an’ mah geetar – ah feel a toon comin’ ohn!”
Feeling threatened by old Deke’s massive chopper, as he gets wood in the basin, Charleen grabs a log to defend herself: “Don’t you come near me, with that thing – or I’ll shove this timber up your ass!”
“Won’t fit” Deke replies, “I already got a piece of 4×2 up there!”
Meanwhile, Polly-Ann is horrified to see that the Zulus are attacking….
Eunice, her face contorted with sadistic delight, even as she cursed herself for forgetting the petrol and matches, was about to fulfill a long-held fantasy.
Stickybud* held tightly to the washing pan that contained his severed genitals, frantically holding it close to his lower torso to stem the flow of innards cascading out of his slit abdomen.
Meanwhile, cross-dressing Allesklar* appeared on the scene carrying a casserole of freshly pod peas, shouting “hang on – sticky, old pal, old mate, would you mind ever so much holding on to this casserole of freshly pod peas so that they will be nicely boiled?” adding “I will collect them from your charred remains after Eunice and I have watched you suffer your horrible, horrible death.”
“No prob’s,” said sticky obligingly “have you put salt in the water, it helps to preserve the flavour, you know.”
“Yes, yes,” said Alesklar, irritably “‘course I have. Now, don’t wriggle about and upset them when the flames consume you.”
Stickybud* assured her he wouldn’t.
End of true story.
OMG – ratty’s been at the bath salts again. He’s pissing in Mrs Ratty’s pot. And she’s not too happy about it – wants to give him a roasting for spoiling her cock-a-leekie soup
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