Hangman Wanted in Sri Lanka

by The Madhatters

hangman

Bastards !

Perhaps you’re a school leaver or a recent graduate and you’re struggling to find employment?

Have you considered becoming a hangman?

Sri Lanka’s Prison Department is currently looking to fill two positions – hangman, and assistant.

( see - http://tinyurl.com/c9o53kg)

Interviews have started but no appointment has been made yet so there is still time

If you are interested in either position, please submit letters of application, listing previous experience (if any), and qualities you think make you a good fit for the job to us here at Madhatters and we will forward your application to the relevant authorities in Sri Lanka

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10 Comments to “Hangman Wanted in Sri Lanka”

  1. Dear Mr./Mrs. Sri Lanka.

    I would like to apply for the position of Hangman. Admittedly, I have no previous experience of hanging human beings, though it must be said that I have spent many hours in the woods around my home, where I have hanged numerous wild animals, not to mention a few domestic cats. I am sure that my inexperience in the former would be more than compensated for by my enthusiasm for the job.

    It should also be mentioned that I cut a very dignified figure in a pair of winkle-picker, curly-toed ankle boots, black woolie tights, leather waistcoat worn over a bare chest and black, pointed balaclava as you, no doubt, appreciate the necessity of being appropriately dressed when in the presence of someone who is well hung.

    You make no mention of salary, but I would accept minimum wage on the condition that I got double-bubble for topping someone on a weekend.

    Yours hopefully,

    ratty the rope.

  2. Ever read ‘The Wasp Factory’ by Iain Banks, ratty?

    • Fantastic book!

      ‘Walking on glass’ was pretty good as well, but I couldn’t get into any of his stuff after that.

      • I read ‘The Crow Road’ and ‘Complicity’, and enjoyed them both. Also got one called ‘The Business’, which my partner bought me years ago. I just spotted it on my shelves, and think I ought to read it sometime!

        • I started The Crow Road and also The Bridge a few years ago, but they didn’t grip me, so I abandoned them after about 50 or 60 pages.

          I like Banks’ style though, so may try them again.

    • Just checked it out on Wiki, looks good.

      • You should read it. It’s very funny in parts, and shocking at the end (unless Wiki spoiled it for you – I will check if it reveals anything). And it’s not too long, either.

  3. Bastards – they gave it away!

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