Frosty the Snowman, who was kidnapped 2 weeks ago, has been released by his captors.
A cigarette burn on his arse suggests the kidnappers may have used harsh interrogation techniques in an attempt to extract information from him.
Police, however, suspect Frosty may have been a willing partner in his own abduction after uncovering photographs of him playing pool and supping ale with the kidnappers
Full story here – http://tinyurl.com/6plgvv6
Hic !
It also increased milk yield by 5% while cutting methane emissions by 20%
Source – http://tinyurl.com/c3g7sew
Cuts methane emissions, eh ?
Well I’m always willing to do my bit to save the environment – pass me another bottle of merlot (hic)
Hhmm, if you live in Australia and were planning on taking your little snowflakes for a picnic, you might want to think about clapping a pair of ear mufflers on them – wild fowl there have picked up some pretty foul language !!!
Escaped parrots and cockatoos, who learnt English words and phrases (some quite rude) while kept as pets, have been teaching what they’ve learnt to their wild counterparts.
Seems the air can get quite blue at times with the range of expletives being passed on !
Source – http://tinyurl.com/67cdozb
Remember those pupils in New Zealand who used weedkiller to draw the shape of a penis in the grass surrounding their school – that was visible on Google Earth ?
Well some Aussies have gone one better !!!
WTF ???
All well and good, but for one small detail they overlooked . . .
The torpedoes were made in Europe and the instruction manuals are in French and Italian
For now then, the torpedoes are next to useless until they can find someone to translate the manuals
Fingers crossed then no one attacks them before then !!!
Source – http://tinyurl.com/3gqtg27
They’re a funny lot ‘down under’
Drag a horse behind your car – and they’ll turn a blind eye
Pelt a homeless women with eggs – and they’ll turn a blind eye
Beat up two tourists – and they’ll turn a blind eye
Rob parking meters of thousands of pounds – and they’ll turn a blind eye
But . . . http://tinyurl.com/3r56zg2
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
Early in the morning
Shave him in the belly with a rusty razor
Shave him in the belly with a rusty razor
Shave him in the belly with a rusty razor
Early in the morning
So go the lyrics of an old song. In Australia, however, a different fate awaits the drunken sailor – they promote him !!!
A stuffed teddy bear sent from the UK to a childhood friend in Australia has been denied entry into the country – in case it was carrying diseases or exotic pests into the country
To add insult to injury, Australian officials are demanding a ransom for his release – asking Caroline Rothwell to cough up $41 before they will deport the bear back to the UK
Free the Stoke Teddy !!!
Read more – http://tinyurl.com/37pygdp
Strewth!
This is cannibalism brought bang up to date…. Jamie Oliver style.
Take one freshly peeled organic missionary, give him a bit of a bashing in the old pestle and mortar, and whop him in the pot.
Then season well.
