Rudolph, Dancer, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen – some of the reindeer that haul santa’s fat arse around the world delivering pressies on Xmas eve.
There’s more of the buggers, of course, but these are the ones that come to my mind straight away.
You might think being able to name only 5 of Santa’s 9 reindeer is not very impressive but it’s a damn site better than 1,000 5-7 yr old UK kids who took part in a recent study. Some of the names they came up with when asked about santa’s reindeer included . . .
A recent poll of Brits identified the top 12 things they dislike about Xmas.
In descending order . . .
1. Too many TV repeats
2. Cliff Richard’s Millennium Prayer
3. Christmas traffic jams
4. Shopping
5. Relentless festive music
6. Doing Christmas cards
7. Eating/drinking too much
8. Drunken office parties
9. Realising you need to diet in January
10. Driving to the in-laws
11. Stupid jumpers
12. Spending too much time with family
’twas halfwise through December
that day I well remember
awaked at seven of the clock
not by the straining of the cock
nor flickering of ember
cacophony beyond the keep
was what disturb’d my beauty sleep
an army, surely, on the rise
dispelling dream-sand from my eyes
that shook the air so deep
‘Oi, watch it’, cried the night air, holding her rent parts together
The source of the scream was lying in the clearing, bare-arsed, an empty whisky bottle clutched in his hand, staring fearfully into the mist swirling through the trees.
‘Bugger’, she cried, putting her fingers in her ears ‘Xmas again already’
“You don’t understand.” said NobblySan to the hooded figure beside him. “It’s the worst pipe band in the world, and eleven of them are marching down here today, led by one duncanr.”
The wafting breeze bore a faint crescendo of bagpipes, and Bitter (for it was she) exclaimed: “Why, they don’t sound bad at all.”
“It’s not the music,” replied Nobbly, grimacing as the pipers came into view, and the . .
Rudolph, Dancer, Prancer, Donner, Blitzen – some of the reindeer that haul santa’s fat arse around the world delivering pressies on Xmas eve.
