Binmen in Bolton normally take a shortcut through an alley connecting one street to another so they were none too pleased to find a parked car blocking the way. Before being forced to drive the long way round, they left a message to the owner of the car suggesting he/she did not park there again
September 12, 2010
Look Bad – Be Happy
Before
After
People not taking you seriously – judging you on your appearance rather than your ability?
Can’t get your point across in meetings because people keep coming on to you instead of listening to your arguments?
Fed up with the sexual harassment at work or in clubs because of your looks?
You need - Dr Bukk’s Funny Teef.
There’s a style to suit everyone – http://tinyurl.com/8tpi
Turn you life around – make yourself ugly and get ahead !!!
November 20, 2009
Bizarre comedy – Eddie Izzard
Suitably inspired by JayJay’s post about facts, one of which referred to Eddie Izzard’s theories of jam, I set off to find out what he was on about.
Although I’ve seen Izzard on the box, I’d never actually seen much of his stand up stuff, but after I’d stopped giggling like a big (alright…alright…) kid I decided to post this clip, which features several jam references.
Apologies if it isn’t to your taste, but I have a weird and (at times) wonderful sense of humour, and I’d forgotten how funny the bloke could be.
June 1, 2009
An introduction to christianity.
This is just too good not to share….
Dave Allen at his irreverent best
I propose a toast to Andy Holroyd and his trousers – may he never quite grow into them.
March 23, 2009
The Listening Volcano
On Feb 24th the Alaska Dispatch published this letter to Mount Redoubt:
Dear Mt. Redoubt,
We don’t know if you elevated your seismic activity because you got jealous of Governor Palin’s media explosion or what, but we’re tired of this simmering tantrum of yours. In geologic terms, her fame should seem an instant to you, so get over yourself and blow up already. We, The Concerned, remember that when you blew in ’89, you had enough courtesy not to hold us hostage for so long before you inconvenienced us. You did end up erupting continuously from December that year until June the next, but at least you got right to work, you didn’t overdo it, and prevailing winds kept your damage low. If you’re really going to go through with it this time, be quick about it so The Concerned can clean up and get on with our lives.
You may not know it, but those of us in your potential fallout zone have been on “Orange Alert” for almost two months now. The Concerned are completely stocked up on food, water, nostalgic board games, and piles of assorted ash gear: Respirator masks, tarps, tape and Visqueen, air filters, vacuum bags, electronics covers, mason jars to collect local samples for the Alaska Volcano Observatory (whose logo, you’ll be proud to know, features an homage to your last, majestic ash cloud), and even brand-new Ziploc bags for all our remote controls. Heck, we keep waiting to see HEPA tube socks-we would totally buy those.
Which reminds us, thanks for the welcome boost to Southcentral’s economy. We’ve done alright so far, but we’re eager to cash in even more. We bought 5 gross of those little, clear glass vials from a dude we know in Wasilla so we can sell your ash to tourists next summer or send it to our Outside relatives for the holidays. It’s a good thing we haven’t based our entire economy on the possibility of your eruption, but with the price of oil so unpredictable lately, we might as well have. Without you and the hope of a poisonous, earthen plume blotting out the sun, these would truly be dismal economic times.
Whenever you’re ready.
Hi ho,
The Concerned
January 29, 2009
Drink now for we are DOOMED!
Three scientists have questioned the assumptions made about the black holes due to be produced by the Hadron Collider. Having revisited the maths they say the the black holes will last longer that the split second that they originally predicted. Handy household hint No. 4 always check your change.
Black Hole
So now with the dastardly beasts are expected to live for more than a second, it becomes a race between how fast a black hole can decay — and how fast it can gobble up matter to grow bigger and prevent itself from decaying.
So in the event that Yellowstone holds out, we have until June before the planet is destroyed…
Have a nice day… 
January 9, 2009
A scarf to die for
The ability to make people laugh is a gift, Joan Cunnane worked tirelessly for 16 years in order to make the irreverent chuckle today. For she was a shopaholic and a hoarder. Her house, her garage and even her car were jammed full of her precious purchases.
At some point after Christmas Joan, Britain’s solution to the credit crunch, went to find something in her bedroom only to have half a dozen full suitcases collapse on top of her. Police think that she died of dehydration and have confirmed that there were no suspicious circumstances.
Ebay?
January 9, 2009
Please Sir, can I have some more…
Morgan County Sheriff Greg Bartlett has been locked in his own jail by a judge even though he hasn’t broken any laws.
The Sheriff has fed his inmates cheap skimpy meals and pocketed the left over money allocated for prison food. There is a law that lets Sheriffs profit from their jail kitchens and he has declared earnings of over $200,000 on his tax returns over that last 3 years.
The Judge ordered that the Sheriff should ”remain in custody until he submitted a plan to feed prisoners meals that are ‘nutritionally adequate’,”
