Just thought I’d share with you all that my son, Adam, has introduced a new member to the family. He’d been furtively searching the internet for a partner, and after a flurry of emails with a couple in Madrid, who deal in this sort of thing, flew to Spain on Saturday last, to see what they had to offer.
His wish was to find a “someone special” who was loving, hardworking and able to provide him with many offspring.
Apparently, he was succesful in making his choice and today flew home with “Roxanne”. – I mean, Roxanne?
I don’t want to sound racist, but the only way I can describe her is as a black Spanish bitch, with “Spanish” being questionable. Though in her youth, she already exhibits the signs of the big-boned, muscular females you see working in fields in the sticks of Italy.
Incredibly, my wife accepted her into the home and took to her immediately. As did my daughter, who gushed “you are so beautiful, it doesn’t matter that you broke wind in the car coming from the airport.”
FFS – she can’t even speak English, she just communicates in grunts and gestures.
This was not what I had expected of Adam. I had envisaged a more conventional selection of a partner. But he’s over eighteen, so what can I do ?
When the conversation steered itself to sleeping arrangements, I ran to the kitchen and poured myself a neat Vodka , or two, or three – or four !
And it doesn’t just end there, next month he’s off to Warsaw – to buy another puppy !