What the F………?

by NobblySan

The Mad Hatters have an email address.
It doesn’t get checked very often;  but today, I checked the inbox.

Among the usual crowd of  ‘let me in – I want to comment’ emails was one that caught my eye.  The company that it’s (supposedly) from are the same bunch responsible for polluting the airwaves of the UK with such unadulterated shit as ‘Big Brother’ and ‘Deal or no deal‘, amongst other dross for the consumption of the gullible.

But enough of my snobbish sniping at TV for sheep – what made me smile about this, was the inference in the email that somehow the Mad Hatters were capable of providing information about retirement homes full of aged shaggers and snoggers who would be willing to appear in this programme.

I assume that Duncan and Ratty, as the two elder statesmen of the outfit, have been making a bit of a name for themselves.

The text of the email is below….

Dear MadHatters Café,

I hope you don’t mind me contacting you directly. I work for Endemol, the factual arm of Endemol and we are currently in production for a new series of the critically acclaimed and groundbreaking Channel 4 series, The Sex Education Show – due to be aired in July 2010. The last series gained plaudits from both health and education professionals for its fun but factual approach to sex education.

The focus of this series is “it’s OK to be different” and we will be featuring stories of the ‘sexually invisible’; the physically disabled, those with learning disabilities and the elderly. We have met some fantastic elderly people who lead exciting and fulfilling sex lives at 70+ and we are delighted to create a platform from which they can share their otherwise unheard experiences.  We want to show how sex education has changed through the years and to hear this from those who have experienced it.

In addition to these personal stories, we are hoping to film a sweet and fun sequence with our presenter, Anna Richardson and some young at heart residents at a, institution for the elderly in London.  We would like Anna to talk to the elderly people about their experiences and the changes in sex education through the years.  I am hoping that you may be able to help facilitate this request or at least point me in the right direction of some active care homes which you think may be interested in taking part.

I have found many articles online highlighting the lack of acknowledgement that elderly people can still be sexually active and we would like to tackle this in a respectful and fun way.  I also think that it would be a stimulating experience as if the ladies whom we have already interviewed are anything to go by, they’d be delighted to get a chance to talk about these issues!

Logistically, this would involve attending an institution (ideally in Greater London area) for 1 morning or afternoon within the next couple of weeks.  There would be a team of approx. 5 production crew (including the presenter) and the filming would take roughly 3 hours.  All we’d require would be a group of engaged elderly men and women to be our captive audience!

I understand that this is a sensitive request and can assure you that any participants would be treated with the utmost of respect.  I’d really appreciate any help you can offer on this matter and look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.

Please do not hesitate to contact me for any further details.

Best wishes,


T: +44 (0) 20 XXXXXXXXXXX


Endemol UK | Shepherds Building Central

Charecroft Way | London | W14 0EE

17 Comments to “What the F………?”

  1. Bugger !!!

    She promised she’d be discreet 😳


  2. well its’s fame of a sort, I suppose 😆


  3. “it would be a stimulating experience . . . if the ladies whom we have already interviewed are anything to go by”

    O.K., O.K. – I can take a hint

    Jeez, these ladies she mentions sound like a right bunch of ‘go-ers’ 😯


  4. I’m cumming

    I’m coming

    I mean you can count me in !!!


  5. The sacrifices I make just to put the Madhatters on the map !!!


  6. Good, you can sort out Endemol’s legal people when they knock on the door regarding those defamatory comments about their programmes.


    • As an aside – told you all those porn sites I perused in the small hours of the morning hunched over my laptop (in the name of research, of course) and the many references to ‘tits’, ‘bums’, ‘cocks’, and vaginas’ in the material posted on Madhatters would get us ‘noticed’ !!!


  7. I’m up for it.

    I’ll show ’em what a 74 year old can do. Mind you, a “Knee-trembler” for me now refers to lying flat on my back, not to mention that “doggy-style” can be a bit difficult when relying on the aid of two walking sticks.


  8. I wouldn’t attempt it with a zimmer frame, Duncan.

    I would find all that hard, cold steel with it’s precision engineering, far too arousing (bit like a bicycle) resulting in premature immaculation.


  9. Duncanr, who’s going to run MadHatters while you’re off cavortin’?


    • no need to worry – I wouldn’t be gone long

      I’m not one for lengthy ‘cavorting’ (I get bored easily) 😳

      In any case, in the event of unforeseen circumstances preventing me from posting my usual tripe on Madhatters (e.g., I’m pished) Nobbly, Julie, and Ratty are themselves full of enough sh*t to keep Madhatters’s head above the sludge in my absence. And waiting in the wings we have our very own ‘Cassandra’ – Noseycow – to give us timely warnings of global calamities (if she can be persuaded to get off her arse facebook 😉


  10. I would like to assure readers that Duncan is absolutely right in his appraisal of his fellow administrators ability to keep Madhatters afloat during his absence.

    For the given reason.

    However, I feel that Duncan has cast the net a little too wide, and I will be speaking to him on this matter.


  11. You guys are incorrigible!
    Be sure to let me know how it goes! Or comes… whatever the case may be.


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