The Eyes Have It

by duncanr

My heart raced as her fingertips lightly brushed against my skin

You’ve got lovely long eye lashes’, she said, moving closer

Our faces nearly touching, I gazed into those dark desi eyes – for me, one of the most attractive physical features of a woman are her eyes – and cursed the difference in our ages

For while I am, shall we say, a man of mature years, she was in her mid 20s

[Well, actually, unless some tragic accident has befallen her since I left her a few hours ago, she still is in her mid 20s]

And so beautiful . . . tall, slim, with long black shoulder length hair. Normally straight, she had done something to it to give it a kind of tousled look. She kept running her hand through it, flicking it back, as we talked. I read somewhere that when women do that in the presence of a man it’s a sign they are interested. I’ve also read that women like a man that can make them laugh

Well, nothing ventured . . . I tried my best chat up line

An irishman, an Englishman, and a Scotsman walk in to a bar . . .

When I finished, she gave a weak smile and moved away. I knew then that I had blown any chance I might have had . . .  should have told the one about the bloody sheep instead !


So guys, help me out here. Any suggestions for successful pick up lines? What’s worked for you? And what hasn’t?

And girls, what are the best pick up lines guys have tried with you? And what were the cheesiest ?


33 Comments to “The Eyes Have It”

  1. Oh u get impressed by eyes that a billion other people have?… I cook u yogurt loaf and this is how u repay that? Hahaha kidding!

    U shouldve reached ur hand towards her face, looking deeply into her eyes, and taking on a sean connery persona, diverted ur hand to stroke her hair and say “u gots purrty hair”.. Haha


  2. I was planning on typing up a post about pick up lines. You beat me to it, Duncan. Well… if I were a man and I wanted to use a pick up line, I would use…

    Math pick up lines:

    “I wish I was your derivative so I could lie tangent to your curves.”

    “My love for you is like a concave up function because it is always increasing.”

    “How can I know so many hundreds of digits of pi and not the 7 digits of your phone number?”

    “Nice asymptote.”

    Science pick up lines:

    “If i was an enzyme, i’d be helicase so i could unzip your genes”

    “Chem students do it on the table periodically.”

    “You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere.”

    “I wish I were adenine because then I could get paired with U.”

    “Let’s meet somewhere… bring your beaker and I’ll bring my stirring rod.”

    Oh, and Harry Potter pick up lines:

    “Wanna ride my broom stick?”

    “My basilisk wants to explore your chamber of secrets.”

    “You must not be a Muggle, because you cast a spell on me.”

    “I’ve been whomping my willow thinking about you.”

    “I don’t know a thing about Merlin’s pants, but I’d love to get into yours!”

    “Why don’t I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?”

    [Sources: Too lazy to bother listing]

    Note: This list is not comprehensive.


    • think I’d have any chance getting my leg over with some of these pick up lines, Eunice? 😆

      Scottish Pick up Lines

      1.Did you fart?, Coz you just blew ma hart awa
      2.Are your parents retarted? Coz your pure special
      3.Mah luv for yoo is like diarehea, I cannae haud it in
      4.Is there a mirrur in yer pants, coz I can see masel in em
      5.Your body reminds me o a spanner… everytime I think o it ma nuts pure tighten up

      Source –


      • Omo! (Korean for Oh my)

        No. I hope you’re joking.

        “Did you fart…”

        If a man tried that pick up line on me, he’d be shot before he could say “Coz…”. I’m sure the Scottish ladies might be wooed by a few of these questionably charming lines, but I don’t think that will work on other women. If you want a desi woman, I can tell you what I know about them. Beyond that, you’re on your own.


  3. “And girls, what are the best pick up lines guys have tried with you? And what were the cheesiest ?”

    Duncan, judging by my online personality, do you think any guy has tried to use a pick up line on me (and lived)?

    So, pick up lines aside… I can see your struggling with impressing the ladies. And if I’m good with any group of people, it’s the ladies. Yes, women want a man who can make them laugh. Most importantly, they want a man who is confident and charming. Emphasis on confidence. Don’t over do it though! Being over confident borders on asshole territory.

    My advice: Be yourself but less horny and more sober.


  4. Ummmm… define “worked”?


  5. also one needs to remember that a mature person with a much younger partner is also, 99% of time, proportional to wealth and perceived generosity.. so … the older the man or woman..the richer/wealthier they must be relative to the younger partner’s…

    For example – developed country older man in their own country considered “middle class” .. would be perceived as incredibly wealthy to a 3rd word poverty stricken beautiful younger woman… would she choose the hot equally poor man in her own village .. or would she choose the older foreigner whom she perceives will give her a better standard of living outside of her poverty stricken situation?? …

    just saying…


    • I second what susi spice ‘said’. Women can be pretty superficial and Desi women are no exception. A girl, from my aunt’s neighborhood, dumped her boyfriend for a richer, older man. I would be wary if I were you. I’m sure you could find a woman… I dunno… around your age if you tried.


    • Hi susi.

      On the strength of that, are you suggesting that Duncan’s best course of action would have been to have whipped it out and flopped it onto the table for her to examine?

      i am, of course, talking about a recent bank statement.


    • Ggrrrr !!!

      You saying I’ll have to buy meself a new partner, Susi – one that only wants me for me money – because my natural charm, drop dead gorgeous good looks, and sparkling repartee aren’t enough ?

      Cheeky mare ! 😉


      • Don’t worry Duncan.

        Susi’s argument refers to women from third world countries; so unless you’re trying to tap up someone from Wales or Yorkshire, normal rules apply.


      • I think a third world country lass would be up for some barter trading if you didn’t have the dinero. What was it? Haggis? Maggots? I can’t remember.


  6. as if to prove my point about eyes – has anyone looked at ‘truthaboutmornings’ gravatar amongst the ‘likes’ above?

    is that not an incredibly sexy lady?


  7. First off – kill the bad jokes, there is nothing more embarassing for a lady when she is chatting to a guy for the first time, and she cannot get the punch line – you tend to give this nervous little smile, and walk off thinking “am I stupid, or was that just really a dumb joke”?

    Let her do most of the talking (women like to do that you know), but ask subtle questions along the way – find out more about her, what she does, what her likes are, etc. That will show you are truly interested in HER and not just … never mind ….

    Cheesy pick-up lines are just soooo annoying, and they make me think the guy is thick!

    If you find a pretty, dim one that you’re interested in – then yes go with all the corny crap you like – that’s about the limit of their understanding!

    However, if you find one that is pretty AND bright, you have to go with intelligent conversation.


  8. “My heart raced as her fingertips lightly brushed against my skin

    ‘You’ve got lovely long eye lashes’, she said, moving closer”

    This was an appointment at the opticians, wasn’t it?


  9. im just saying… based on the odds and examples..that an older man getting such a younger woman… the odds are increased by his wealth… eg Anna Nicole Smith and Howard Marshall, Brynne Edelsten and Geoffrey Edelsten, Wendi Deng and Rupert Murdoch, Hugh Heffner and the last dozen girlfriends…


  10. the cheesiest?

    “You look sexy as a beast”


    like the one in that fairytale? Right.


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