Women Bore Me

by UniSciKill

Yes, women bore me. Don’t agree? Then I dare you to sit around with a bunch of females from any age group, and let’s see how long you last without plucking every last hair strand nestled deep within its follicle in your scalp. Provided you have hair anyway. Now, where was I? Oh yes, women… and how boring they are. Don’t attack me just yet women! I’m a woman too, and I’ll give you examples of what I mean.

***

Communication Profiles:

Ages 1-10:

Usually unintelligible gibberish or worse.

Primary topics of discussion are barbies, other brand named dolls, pink shiny things, clothes, make-up, and looking pretty.

Ages 11-19:

Unfortunately not unintelligible gibberish.

Primary topics of discussion are gossip, boys, latest trends, clothes, make-up, and looking pretty.

Ages 20-30:

Repetitive, sometimes laced with self-depreciation yet hopeful, but typically aimed to cut other opponents women down.

Primary topics of discussion are weight, height, complexion, boys, boyfriends, latest trends, getting married, marriage, jewelry, clothes, make-up, and looking pretty.

Rare topics of discussion: career and meaningful interests.

Ages 31-55:

My kids horses are bigger and better than your kids horses. Constantly praising their own kids horses and comparing them with yours (if you have any or just with you if you have none).

Primary topics of discussion are kids, kids, kids, husband, kids, kids, kids, marriage, kids, kids, kids, house, kids, kids, kids, jewelry, clothes, make-up and looking pretty.

Ages 56+:

Maturity, wisdom, and grace… if you’re lucky.

Primary topics of discussion are grandkids, old days, experiences, clothes, make-up, and looking pretty*.

Huddled around by members of the other age groups.

*Concerned with other women’s appearances than their own.

***

Okay, so these age profiles aren’t set in stone. They are by no means all-inclusive. There may also be overlap between the age groups. So, don’t get your boxers and panties in a twist over this… list of sorts.

My name is UniSciKill, women bore me- they’ve bored for me ages-and now you know why.

6 Comments to “Women Bore Me”

  1. Of course woman bore you. Men can’t give birth.

    Like

  2. Got to disagree with you on one thing, Unicycle. I share an office with women aged 28 to 50 and discussion about weight does not cease after a woman reaches 30 yrs of age.

    They do my head in with their constant chat about diets, calorie counts, exercise regimes. What particularly irritates me is their constant talk of food and attempts to lose weight when each day they eat like a horse. They bring food to eat at lunch time, food to eat at mid-morning break, more food to eat mid-afternoon. In addition, every time they make a cup of tea or coffee during the day, it’s got to be accompanied by a donut or cream cake.

    They eat almost as much in a day as I eat in a week !

    I listen to them in the morning, discussing what they ate for their evening meal the day before (blokes do not tell each other every morning what their evening meal consisted of the previous day). They say with a certain degree of pride how good they were in only having a salad. And then they are astonished when they have their weekly weigh-in to discover they have not lost any weight – seemingly failing to recognise that the crisps, biscuits, cakes, and chocolates they eat while at work contain any calories! 🙄

    Like

  3. So when’s the good age??

    Like

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