Twat Tweets Twitter

by duncanr

twitter helpPicture the scene

You’re on your knees,  talking to an imaginary friend (it’s a one-sided conversation)  – when you suddenly realise every other bugger in the place has f*cked off home and left you

Worse still, the b*stards have locked you in

What do you do next ?

Well you could try . . . asking your imaginary friend for help – but trust me in this,  you’d be wasting your time

What’s that?

You’ve got your mobile phone with you?

Well why didn’t you say so sooner

You’ll be out of here in no time

All you have to do is . . .

Now be honest, folks, answer truthfully – what would you do in this situation (other than drink the communion wine!)

Click here – http://tinyurl.com/kahha6o – to find out what Sarah Greep did

6 Comments to “Twat Tweets Twitter”

  1. My mum got herself locked in the church too, she wrote a sign and held it up in the souvenir shop window, ans someone eventually saw her. Moral of the story: don’t hang out in chuches 🙂

    Like

    • Souvenir shop . . ?

      “I’ll take the three nails and the thorned crown, but you’re going to have to drop a bit on the shroud.”

      Hmm, those burning bushes would look nice on our patio, wouldn’t they, Ethel ?

      Like

      • Souvenir shop…? maybe they had a cafe as well.

        “It’ll be the last fucking supper I buy here! We’re not paying these prices, are we lads!
        The Star of Bengal is still open, who fancies a loaves and fishes Madras instead?”

        Like

        • I don’t think you’ve thought this through properly, Nobbly. If you should choke on piece of bread and fish, can anyone at The Star of Bengal (or any of the other five thousand diners) bring you back to life again ?

          It really is worth paying the extra few bob at the church caff for this facility alone, not to mention how they can turn water into wine !

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  2. I would enjoy the peace, maybe check out the wine ( no I don’t think even I could do that), phone a friend and sit back and imagine the post I would write. It would be better however, and a way more likely, if it were my husband who got locked in, as I enjoy writing my posts laughing at him and this one I would ensure as my mum says “would lose nothing in the telling!”.

    Like

  3. #naked #wanton woman chained @church #setmefree

    Like

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