Is there anyone there?

by duncanr

ghostWhen psychic medium Chris Date posed a question during a ghost hunt in the Halfway Hotel in Llanelli, Wales last Friday, he was rewarded by two loud knocks from overhead

However, the supernatural origin of these ghostly rappings was later called into question when. . . a hotel employee and a skeptical guest caught a man hiding in the attack of the hotel

[It is only fair to point out that Chris Date denies accusations that he planted the man in the attic to assist in his act seance]

Now far be it for me to deny the possibility that there may be some sort of afterlife (I don’t believe there to be one but accept I may be mistaken) but . . .

psychic mediums really get on my tits

For example, as the cancer ate away at her life, Mrs D became hooked on a certain cable TV show featuring a psychic medium passing on to grieving relatives messages from those who had passed on

One day, I saw that this medium (let’s call him, say, – Colin Fry – was going to put on a show at a theatre in Birmingham. Swallowing my own skepticism, I contacted the theatre to book a couple of tickets, – knowing this was something Mrs D would enjoy

However, in a break from usual practice, I was told that the theatre wasn’t issuing the tickets themselves and I had to contact the medium’s own booking agency.

As I pointed out to Mrs D, when explaining why I had changed my mind about buying the tickets – booking theatre tickets through the medium’s own company meant he knew the names and addresses, and the seating location, of every bugger in the theatre and had months beforehand for his team of researchers to scour local obituary columns for details of any recently deceased relatives of these audience members – christ, I could put on a pretty convincing performance myself given that information !

Why am I so convinced these mediums are a bunch of charlatons deceiving themselves and their audiences?

Because no one ever asks the f*cken obvious questions

Like . . .

where the f*ck are you

do you still have to pee and shit

have you seen God yet

what’s the accommodation like

what do you do all day

are there any golf courses

what’s the weather like

do you get a good wifi signal

are there any virgins or are these reserved for muslims

Until a psychic medium is able to contact the departed and get answers to these important questions,  I’m afraid I am going to continue in my belief that they are at best – self deluded – or at worst, sneaky, conniving charlatans exploiting for their own commercial benefit the  vulnerability of those who have lost a loved one

P.S. Assuming there really is a life after death and that mediums really can contact those who have passed over – what important questions would you like an answer to ?

6 Comments to “Is there anyone there?”

  1. Why can’t you come back? Or do you?
    Can you see everything I do? (Gulp)
    Why the hell can you not talk to me, for free, and not that eejit who charges me to listen to you?


  2. Many years ago, I asked a girlfriend if she believed in the “Hereafter.”

    “Because,” I explained, “if you’re not here after what I’m here after, you’ll be here after I’ve gone.”


  3. Psychic mediums are just one-man religions: they con gullible people into believing they are in contact with imaginary beings.


  4. This sums it all up…..

    About 2/3 the way through they spill the beans.


  5. I wouldn’t want to stay in any hotel that has an attack in it.


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