Parenting FAIL

by duncanr

naughty boy being sent awayLet’s not pretend otherwise for fear of being judged a bad parent

Let’s be brutally honest – kids are not always good. Sometimes they can be right little b*stards !

None of us are ‘perfect’ as a parent and we have all at times (understandably), lost our patience, been driven up the wall by their behaviour, and may have yelled screamed sworn at raised our voices to the little gob-shites

[Clashes of wills, temperament, opinions are all part of family life]

However tempting the idea might . . . have seemed at the time, though, few of us, I think, would have done what this couple did

http://tinyurl.com/nytxb7t

A part of a parent’s duty to a child is to care for and protect it. The child should be able to trust its parents and feel safe and secure in their presence

What sort of message does this couple’s action convey to this 9 yr old boy who has been dumped by the only parents he has ever known?

How hurt and confused is he feeling now?

Whatever happens next, you can be sure he won’t be so trusting of adults again

And what about his brothers – the couple’s natural children ?

Are they perhaps feeling a little less ‘safe and secure’ right now?

Perhaps wondering if their parents will dump them too if it suits them to do so ?

Like I said, none of us can honestly describe ourselves as perfect parents. We mostly stumble along making it up as we go along, learning on the way. If our parenting skills were assessed on some kind of scale where a low score meant bloody crap and a score at the other end of the scale meant bloody brilliant, most of us we would probably fall around the middle point of the scale.

Fortunately, those at the bottom of the scale, like the parents of this 9 yr old boy, are the minority

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6 Comments to “Parenting FAIL”

    • hard to believe isn’t it?

      O.K. the lad apparently exhibited aggressive behaviour but the proper response is not simply to dump him but to get professional help to understand why he shows these behaviours, what events trigger them, and what does he gain from that behaviour(i.e., what is rewarding/sustaining that aggression)

      Questions like –

      is there a neurological or physiological basis for his behaviour?
      if so, could medication or surgical intervention bring it under control ?

      Is there a psychological basis for his behaviour?
      is his aggression attention seeking – a way of controlling people around him?

      could encouraging people to ignore him when he’s being aggressive, and pay him lots of attention when he is being non-aggressive bring about a change in his behaviour?

      so many possibilities to explore rather than just dumping him !

      Like

  1. Poor little bugger. If it was an isolated case then we could be reassured that it’s not a general problem, but apparently it’s quite well known: http://news.msn.com/us/americans-using-internet-to-abandon-adopted-children
    I was horrified by the woman who said, “I am totally ashamed to say it, but we do truly hate this boy!” as she tried to find new parents for him over the net. It beats me how anyone can be so cruel.

    Like

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