Absolute fucking gibberish

by NobblySan

tom-daley1_2308057bTom Daley is a diver.

Not in the footballing, Cristiano Ronaldo sort of way, mind you: No, he’s an Olympic high board diver –  and a bloody good one at that.

He has recently come out as being gay; using a well-crafted YouTube video to explain to all and sundry that he is in a relationship with another bloke. Needless to say, as a high-profile (and therefore well sponsored) sports figure this must have taken some serious bottle on the lad’s part.  This approach could have backfired spectacularly. What it has done though, is completely wrong foot the more knuckle-dragging elements of the British press. The story is now out there –  delivered in Tom’s own words in a calm and collected manner. It has not been uncovered by sordid little hacks and paparazzi, only to be screamed from the rooftops by the likes of Murdoch and Dacre, via their seedy rags.

However, there has been some laughably pretentious press coverage of this story.

Let’s play bullshit bingo with this poorly written, badly punctuated and generally nauseating bit of jargon-laden drivel from The Guardian, shall we?

See if you can keep your face straight while reading this load of old bollocks.

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23 Comments to “Absolute fucking gibberish”

  1. Utter shite.

    He can’t even write.

    Like

  2. No more muff-diving, then.

    Like

  3. Tom Daley, Olympic diver:

    Limp, moody? Erect avidly!

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  4. Tom Daley, Olympic medallist:

    I’m comely playmate – still odd

    All-time diplomacy – modestly

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  5. thanks for that 1st sentence, nobbly

    I’ve seen all the media coverage of this ‘climatic’ event but not read any of it

    a) because I hadn’t a clue who Tom Daley was – (I thought he must be a member of some boy band who’s female fans would be disappointed to learn he is gay)

    b) because whoever Tom Daley was his sexual orientation is of no interest to me – nor can I see why it should be of much interest to anyone else

    Like

    • There will be a whole bunch of impressionable young lasses taking down their Tom Daley posters over this (ahem…) ‘news’. He was one of the leading pinups of the sport – Even MrsN’s wrinkly old Mum took an interesting in the Olympic diving last year.

      Whilst Mr Daley’s heartfelt video announcement should matter little to everyday folk, I can see how important this is for the issue of enabling sportspeople and others in the public eye to be able to go about their business without having their sexual orientation questioned or ridiculed….. or worse.

      Most gay sportspeople wait until their careers and money-earning potential are waning before coming out; Daley has done it whilst still only 19 and with many years of high-profile success to look forward to.

      Good on him.

      Like

    • “I’ve seen all the media coverage of this ‘climatic’ event but not read any of it”

      It all depends on weather you’re interested in it.

      Like

  6. agreed but then I’m not too bright-coruscating? need dictionary!

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  7. But cyberbrethren, beware ambient synergies inviting the human impulse to negativitate, simultuously denying the nascent crescendoism of jargonic euphoriation in which our innate apotheotic marketing god-nature ultimately manifests.
    Which is better? The Guardian? Or the Daily Mail?

    Like

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