Childbirth vs Kick in the Balls

by duncanr

childbirth vs kick in balls200Getting your goolies kicked, punched, squeezed, or bashed is – as any guy will tell you after he has recovered from the pain and nausea – bloody sore

There are some folk, though (i.e., women) who claim childbirth is a more painful experience

Now, I accept childbirth is painful but . . .

to argue the pain experienced giving birth is worse than the pain experienced following a kick in the balls – is a load of bollocks

Many woman, for example, voluntarily choose to suffer the pain of childbirth again, and again, and again – whereas I have yet to come across a guy who voluntarily chooses to get kicked in the balls because it’s been a while since the last time that happened !

I rest my case 😆

P.S. if you want the science of why a kick in the goolies is so painful, clink this link

29 Comments to “Childbirth vs Kick in the Balls”

  1. ‘Tis been a long long long time since I have been (literally) kicked in the balls. Praise to Allah, but not so long since I have been figuratively kicked (in the balls).
    Merde Alors!


  2. I couldn’t agree with you more my friend. On the other hand, I did voluntarily hold my wife’s hand through several childbirth experiences, and that’s a pain I wouldn’t volunteer for again either. Which points out another major difference between the two types of pain: a man who’s big kicked in the balls can do little more than lie there whimpering, whereas a woman in childbirth could very well rip her mate in half! O_o


  3. This is a load of speculative tosh !

    The only sure way to find out if being kicked in the testicles is more painful or less painful than childbirth is to ask someone who has experienced both.

    Do I have to think of everything ?


  4. Childbirth pain is variable – we’re all different. I found giving birth less painful than stepping on my kids’ lego. I have no idea how much it hurts to be kicked in the goolies, but I suspect that it isn’t as variable as childbirth pain 🙂


  5. I have suffered terribly with the torment that comes after childbirth.

    ……..paying for the buggers until they finally leave home.


  6. I gave birth to a kidney stone once. That was def up there with Childbirth I am positive


    • My felicitations, bearman. Boy or girl ?


      • I’ve given birth that way, many times. Each time it happened, my joy at being the parent of a big, bonny, bouncing, blue eyed baby kidney stone, has been short lived. My thoughts having quickly turned to those long, sleepless nights breast-feeding it and paceing around the room with it in the cradle of my arm while singing nursery rhymes.

        Then thoughts of clothing it and the prospect of the “terrible two’s” have crowded in.

        Eventually, I succumb to the fact that I’m not mature enough to cope with the responsibility, and flush it down the bog.


        • You heartless bastard.

          Could you not have got it adopted? A local rockery, or a neighbour’s gravel driveway?


          • Yes, Nobbly, that was an avenue of possibility that I explored with my first born. I took it to a jeweller for his appraisal. Unfortunately his reaction was “aaargh, it’s fucking disgusting.”

            How could I leave my newborn in the hands of someone who could be so callous ?

            Eventually, I put it into an empty crisp packet and left it on the doorstep of the local Salvation Army branch.

            Sometimes I awake in the night and wonder about it. It would probably be about twelve years old now.

            And I wonder if it resembles me. – Sigh.


            • I heard that he was adopted – now called Tony Kenside. Lives in Liverpool, apparently. He vents his spleen every day, over you giving him up, and thinks you’re an offal father.


  7. I once met a woman called Julie
    It seemed she was somewhat unruly
    I asked her consent
    For some evil in tent…
    But she kicked me right in the goolies!


  8. Just as getting kicked in the balls is not a choice, childbirth is not something one looks forward too. Let’s face it, women are strong as hell.


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