ratty cooks

by ratty

Hello and welcome to ‘ratty cooks.’

Today my wife took the kids, wished me a two-fingered goodbye and stormed out of left the house.

Don’t go jumping to silly conclusions. This wasn’t the result of any marital strife or friction between us. Oh dear, no. It’s just that she wanted to visit her sister, and she can stay with the bloody old interfering slag until she climbs down off her fucking high horse and comes crawling back to apologise !

So, in her absence, I had the pleasure of preparing my own Sunday lunch. A delicious concoction that you too, can rustle up with the minimum amount of effort and with ingredients readily available in most households.

I call it – Merde dans un Chignon.

Preparation time minimal

Ingredients :

Two slices of (preferably stale) bread.

2 tbspoons of Strawberry jam

2 hard-boiled eggs

Cucumber (finely sliced)

Method :

While the eggs are boiling, evenly spread the confiture de fraises (jam) on the inner surfaces of the bread.

Next, not forgetting to shell the boiled eggs, place them on one of the prepared bread slices and finely dice. Season with salt and pepper (if you can find them.)

When this is complete, layer with the cucumber slices and finally cover with the remaining jammed slice of bread.

Tip : A side dish of a tin of John West’s Mackerel. C’est le pièce de résistance.

Voila !

Bonne appetite.

Note : I’m hoping that ratty cooks can be turned into a regular feature on MH and to this end I am appealing to readers to submit similar recipes for inclusion.

11 Comments to “ratty cooks”

  1. I’ve got a recipe: catty rooks. When your cat has killed a couple of rooks, you bake them in a pie.

    Voila!

    Et bon appetit.

    Like

  2. And the cat said: “I like my crow light”.

    Geddit ?

    Like

  3. I was hungry when arriving in from work later than usual this evening, and so decided to knock up something quick and tasty.

    It’s surprisingly easy, and involves one set of car keys, a few quid, and a nearby Chinese takeaway.

    A winner every time.

    Like

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