Paying for Poo

by duncanr

dog poo120as madhatter readers know – from the countdown widget on the side bar – I will be retiring from work next May

to help me plan for that eventuality, I emailed a request to the appropriate government dept to enquire what amount of pension I could expect to receive when that great day comes

it was not as much as I was hoping !

in April next year – a month before I retire – the rules change, and I will be £27 a week worse off than I would have been if my 65th birthday had fallen in March instead of May

bastards !

so, how am I going to manage?

well, my muslim neighbour . . .

makes me a meal once a week – perhaps I can encourage her to increase that to twice a week?

and perhaps I can visit my local Sikh temple for a free breakfast (see ‘langar‘) every morning?

then, I have been thinking I might be able to supplement my pension by doing a bit of busking in town?

today, though, I stumbled upon this great money-making idea ( that seemed right up my street – after all, folk are always telling me I’m full of shit – only to discover that it is presently only available in the USA 😦

still, fingers crossed a similar scheme will soon start up in the UK 😆

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7 Comments to “Paying for Poo”

  1. I like the author’s name.

    As a cryptic crossword clue, it could be:

    ‘Aha – full of poo! Long time in New Hampshire for reporter’.


  2. Get rid of your infection
    With a fresh fecal injection
    If good bugs have deserted you
    Then perk things up with some new poo

    And though clostridium is tough
    Just one incretion is enough
    You’ll soon be getting such an urge
    When implanted with someone’s purge

    I pondered how this could be done
    To push some shit up someone’s bum
    I thought they might use diarrhoea
    Within a syringe stuck up their rear

    The truth almost stuck in my gullet
    It seems they’ve got a ‘magic bullet’
    Believe me – I’m true to my word
    They do it with a frozen turd

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It reminds me of how I wish they could make cars that run on the most natural gas of all–methane!

    Just fart into that funnel, and your car is good to go!


  4. There’s stool donors go through two rounds of tests? I’m not sure I’d want to mark those exams.


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