National Tell a Joke Day

by duncanr

knock knockapparently it’s National Tell a Joke Day so here’s a couple of Knock, Knock jokes . . .

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Grandpa.
Sh*t, stop the funeral!

* * * * *

Why did sally fall off the swing set?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Not Sally.

feel free to share your own jokes in the comment section

10 Comments to “National Tell a Joke Day”

  1. Oh shit – I can see this thread turning pear-shaped when all the old boys get up later today

    Like

  2. And here I am – ready for a good giggle at last night’s carryings-on – and there’s not one – NOT ONE – where the hell was everybody? Was it bingo night?

    Like

    • looks like I’ll have to do this on my own 😆

      Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Figs
      Figs who?
      Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!

      Knock, knock
      Who’s there?
      Cash
      Cash who?
      No thanks, but I’d like some peanuts

      Like

  3. No c’mon Duncs – you can do better than knock-knock jokes 🙂

    Like

  4. The Met Office have just announced that in order to promote multi-culturalism they will in future be referring to the British weather as ‘Islamic weather’

    i.e. Occasionally Sunni, but mostly Shi’ite.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. A woman goes to the doctor and says she has a problem with soreness ‘down below’.

    After examining her, the quack says “I think you have a problem with your aviaries”

    “Don’t you mean ovaries?” asks the woman.

    “I know what I mean” says the doctor “There’s definitely been a cockatoo in here”

    Liked by 3 people

  6. An elderly pair (he a widower, she a widow) meet in a retirement home. They seem to hit it off; they share each other’s values, enjoy the same jokes, and find pleasure in each other’s company.

    After a few months, the widower asks for the hand of the widow in marriage. She appears hesitant and decided to probe her soon-to-be.

    “Perhaps I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, but . . . How’s your health?”

    “It’s OK,” he answers. “I’m not getting any younger, but I don’t have any major health problems. I can still enjoy life.”

    “Well, then,” she replies “I don’t want to be a snoop, but I’ve got to protect myself : how are you fixed financially?”

    “So-so. I’m not rich, but I’m comfortable. You don’t have to worry about me sponging off you, I can support myself.”

    The little old lady blushes, and finally asks her swain – “And how do you like your sex?”

    “Infrequently,” he declares.

    The widow ponders this for a moment or so, before asking . . . “And is that one word or two?”

    Liked by 3 people

  7. KNOCK KNOCK !

    Who’s there ?

    A little old lady.

    A little old lady who ?

    All this time, I had no idea you could yodel.

    Like

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