Poor get Papal Makeover

by duncanr

service wash, anyone?

Pope Francis has opened a laundrette offering free washers, driers, and irons for use of the poor and homeless – http://tinyurl.com/mq53dbv

hhmmm, ‘cleanliness is next to godliness‘ in action?

4 Comments to “Poor get Papal Makeover”

  1. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
    It’s been a whole week since I last washed my tighty-whities.
    They were so bright and new out of the package, I thought I could get away with it.

    I took them out for a test run on that overnight at Melinda’s flat.
    She was so impressed with their whiteness, she shagged me twice.

    I figured they were good luck, so I kept them on through three work days and two business meetings.
    The meetings went well but the underwear started to itch a little. Also, I noticed they weren’t so white anymore.

    On Thursday, I had my first appointment with that angry new physical trainer, Tony, at the gym. I really needed an edge so I wore my lucky underwear. He totally kicked my butt–I sweated straight through those knickers, my compression shorts, right down into my trainers–but my butt was itching so much, I was distracted from the pain. Tony cut our session short and said he had to be somewhere, but he kept holding his hand in front of his face like he had something to hide. Melinda called me out of the blue right then for a late dinner and I was able to wring my kit out and dry it under the hand dryers before meeting her. She paid for both of us because she had to go home all of a sudden.

    Then, on Friday, I had Indian food and farted all day into an office chair but nobody seemed to notice because the office was strangely empty around my department. I thanked my lucky drawers and I confess I sprayed them with the bathroom air freshener and turned them inside out to hide a bit a curry leakage. I sprayed them again when I got home with deodorant. It worked but their softness was compromised a little. I heard some crackling down there this morning.

    You see, I wanted to make it through the weekend and wear them here because you really need to witness these things. I wanted you to bless them, Father, because I truly think they’ve performed miracles. In one week, I got laid twice, stayed awake through two corporate presentations, made a personal trainer back down, and got a free dinner. But I feel guilty, somehow.”

    Pope, holding his nose: “For your penance, throw that shit out and buy new ones. In the name of the Washer, the Dryer, and the Holy Bleach, amen.”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Surely he could have placed the Launderette in the Vatican City, where it would have been of service to the multitudes of Syrian refugees living there. Or did he not think of asking any of those 20 individuals ?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dirty duvet?
    Unsightly underpants?
    Grubby reputation?
    Soiled conscience?

    Pop them all in at Argy Frank’s Scrub-o-mat and we’ll have them sparkly clean in no time.

    Also, split choir boys mended – reasonable rates – no questions asked.

    Liked by 1 person

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