One of our admins is missing . . .

by duncanr

the MH team would like to extend felicitation to our fellow admin, ratty – who’s birthday it is today – for reaching the grand old age of 70

well, we think he has, but we’re not entirely sure since we’ve not heard from the bugger for a few weeks now

for all we know, he may have popped his clogs, be languishing in a prison cell somewhere, or . . .

wandering aimlessly around wondering endlessly who he is and what’s going on (dementia is a terrible thing, and he is getting old you know)

such is our concern that we are asking the public to help us find the bugger

the photo on the right was taken at ratty’s birthday party last year [oh, he did so enjoy his presents] – if you have seen this man recently*, please let us know in the comment section below

[*we hope the encounter was not too traumatic and has had no long-lasting psychological effect]

meanwhile, the rest of the team have been sifting through documents and newspaper cuttings in the basement of Madhatter Tower, reviewing what is known about ratty’s past in the hope of uncovering some clue that may point to his present whereabouts

click the link to see what we’ve uncovered so far – hhtps://


6 Comments to “One of our admins is missing . . .”

  1. this is of course fake news. there have been many many posts to this august site in which ratty’s true age has been revealed to all.
    including this admission by ratty himself

    so, ratty, i’d like to wish you a very happy

    3.5 million and oneth birthday


  2. Happy Birthday Ratty….if you ever see this.


  3. I hear the sex slave trade in Asia is hoppin’, might wanna check those channels first. Sooner or later, somebody’s bound to cave to their skinny grandpa fetish, nab him out of cab, and take him home to their horny pensioner’s dungeon full of unlimited beer and adult diapers.

    Duncan, I just had a great idea for your next vacation.


  4. Hello, my loyal fans.

    Thank you all for your Birthday Wishes.

    I apologise for disappointing you all with my recent absence, but Ive just returned from a month long stay in Thailand, where I’ve undergone a bum lift, a tummy tuck and other procedures in my latest round of “Ken” doll cosmetic makeovers.

    I have to return in a few days time for corrective lip surgery, due to an over-enthusiastic doctor injecting a little too much filler, resulting in my uncanny resemblance to a Platypus with the sulks.

    Also on the list is a hair transplant. In order to achieve a full, bouyant, and curly look, the decision has been made that the follicules for the transplant shall be sourced from my pubic region.

    I bet there are a few of you gals that would like to run your fingers through that, eh ?

    Regarding the blog. There are some things I shall miss while I’m away, and some I shall not. One of the latter is, upon submitting a comment, becoming the subject of a reprimand by a certain pedantic contributor going under the name of NobblySan, who seems to take a great delight in pointing out my poor English and, particularly, my seemingly incorrect usage of the words “affect” and “effect.”

    See you in a month or so.

    Yours effectionately,

    ratty Ken.


    • Happy Birthday, Ken!


    • My dear sir,

      Please allow me to offer my most sincere apologies for any offence caused; this was never my intent….

      Oh, fuck it! It was only a joke, mate – a bit of banter – you know; the sort of shit that we all fling about . . .

      Please don’t go and get your manly flowing locks butchered by some grasping coiffure merchant who doesn’t know his strop from his clandestine copy of Men Only tucked in amongst the What Car? mags.

      It’s bad enough that you’ve had your saggy tits done and now also have a bottom lip like sting’s mate’s from up the Amazon. I could overlook that, but a curly pube-based barnet would just ruin you in my eyes.

      Now stop being a twat, and join in with the rest of us in making fun of ratty: It was his birthday yesterday, you know – he’s even older than Dunc!

      I also promise never to comment on any bugger’s punctuation or grammar ever again.

      Or even their Grandad, come to think of it . . .


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