(Don’t) ring my bell

by allthoughtswork

 

Image result for salvation army bell ringers

Bell ringers! I forget about them every year.

And every year, right around Thanksgiving, those assholes start showing up at each grocery store entrance, waving that fucking little golden thing back and forth until all I want to do is aim a flame thrower at their nuts until silence commences once again. 

People, please. It’s five o’clock, I’m hungry, I’m tired, I just here to pick up a drink mixer and broccoli so I can have my rum in peace and then offset the damage with a vegetable dish. If you expect me to donate to a good cause, find me a killer Democratic presidential candidate, I’ll climb the tallest tower and ring a fuckin’ bell, myself.

Image result for salvation army bell ringers funnyImage result for salvation army bell ringers funnyImage result for salvation army bell ringers funny

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2 Comments to “(Don’t) ring my bell”

  1. ha, think yourself lucky!

    I’ve got a church 100 yards down the road from where I live – bad enough when they disturb my sunday mornings summoning the faithful to prayer with their bloody bells, but the buggers also practice one evening a week

    Ggrrrrr

    Like

    • OK, that’s pretty bad, but listen (pardon the pun) to this: Less than a block from my front door is a major intersection where demon spawn…er…school children and pedestrians cross every day. Bloody city installed one of those Accessible Pedestrians Signals for the blind that sounds like a songbird with Tourette’s.

      All fucking day and night: TWEET…TWEET…TWEET… TWEET…TWEET.

      I’m pretty sure the chickadees in my yard have started drinking.

      Like

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