The Raw-Water Trend is here and I can’t believe I just typed that

by allthoughtswork

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The Darwin Awards are accolades given to people who died in spectacularly stupid ways. Usually, it’s isolated incidents of head-up-assness but occasionally there is a mass die-off that improves the gene pool considerably.

This is one of those times.

I’ve facepalmed so often over Republican stupidity that I’m surprised there isn’t a noticeable dent in my forehead because, for the life of me, I can’t seem to lower my intelligence enough to reconcile their penchant for ignoring basic, common sense, elementary-school-level science.

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Like don’t drink from a fucking creek, ever. That’s in the top ten. It goes Don’t Eat Corpses, Don’t Fuck Your Relatives, Don’t Trust a Priest…and I think Don’t Drink Questionable Water is somewhere around number 7. Science has really shot forward in the fields of Microbiology and Not Dying since the 1950s. That’s what all those intricate liberal government safety regulations are for, Mr. Trump.

I’ve spent several decades hiking and climbing the backcountry, much of it above treeline where everything seems pure, and even I know you don’t bend down and slurp from the glacier. Dat glacier got all kinds of shit in it, shit your immune system can’t handle. Maybe even actual shit; humans lie like dogs about where they defecate in Leave No Trace areas, I’ve seen it.

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You think ice and snow and rocks and trees are gonna filter out the hillbilly bacteria Bubba crapped into a ravine up yonder while he was huntin’ Bambi last fall? If you do, then by all means, fill your Nalgene downstream from that spot and see how quickly your immune system crumbles under the onslaught of billions of Trump cooties. You’ll be taping Fox News and buying your vegetables in a can from Walmart in no time.

Moral: Drink responsibly. And for god’s sake, flush.

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One Comment to “The Raw-Water Trend is here and I can’t believe I just typed that”

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