The midges are coming, the midges are coming!

by allthoughtswork

Image result for scotland midges funny

Yes, Scotland, it’s that time of year again. Time to lace up your hiking boots and give blood.

Related image

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Thankfully, all we have here in the American Pacific Northwest are mosquitoes, ticks, and hipsters and the hipsters are easily repelled by store bought coffee and late model SUVs.


8 Comments to “The midges are coming, the midges are coming!”

  1. historians have suggested a number of theories to account for the fate of the ‘lost’ 5,000 strong 9th legion of the roman army which marched into Scotland to conquer the natives and was never seen or heard of again

    my own take on the mystery of the 9th Legion’s disappearance is not that they were massacred by fierce-some Scots but that the poor buggers had the misfortunate to run into hordes of the highland midge !


  2. reading the comments following the linked article, came across this tip from a guy called Scott


    Smear Jam (any flavour) on exposed skin….doesn’t stop them biting but it rots the little blighters teeth!!


  3. then there’s this advice from Rob Close


    My family and me have just spent the weekend camping at Loch Lomond, beautiful area, fishing for free, but…….we beat a hasty retreat this morning ( sunday )as the midges were just toooooooo much,

    my wife is absolutly covered in bites and i am not much better,

    they are a nightmare, strange though the kids (2 and 9 ) never had a single bite between them ?????

    solution – tie a small child to you and stay midge free, nothing else will work!


  4. my own suggestion is to grow some facial hair, thereby reducing the fleshy target area for the midges to aim for – and if you are a man, travel with a female companion!

    from my own observations, when hiking/camping in the west highlands, my female companions seemed to get bitten a lot more than did I, suggesting that the midges are attracted more to women than to men ?


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