I hate summer

by allthoughtswork

Hate-Summer-01

Yeah, I said it. Turns out, it’s a clinical thing.

The sweating, the burning, the confusion about exact bedtimes when the sun is still high in the sky–the struggle is real. Everything’s too bright, too loud, too frenetic. From June through August, while others are basking in the heat like lizards, I’m planning my entire day around shade trees, nighttime, and those rare hours of overcast sky.

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Turns out, there is an actual condition called reverse seasonal affective disorder and it explains why I become a raging honey badger on any day over 65 degrees. You see, cold makes you alert and gets you moving (to stay warm and not die), hot just makes you groggy and nap-attacky. It’s your body’s attempt to stay as cool as possible and not overheat the brainpan. It’s also the classic signs of depression.

Hate-Summer-01

 

I’m a physical person, I get depressed if I don’t get outside and move in the sun and fresh air. But when that air is like a turbo blow dryer to the eyeballs and the sun is trying to kill me, I’m forced indoors again to beat my record for the number of ice cubes my sports bra cleavage can hold. (Current record: five, then screaming)

Hate-Summer-01

That’s why I rise at 3 AM like a vampire and stalk the trails: Drac and I both burst into flames at dawn. See you in September.

Hate-Summer-01

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2 Comments to “I hate summer”

  1. The corn thing – the popcorn thing – is awesome by the way.

    Tim

    Like

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