The UFO on our nude beach

by allthoughtswork

Image result for nude beach funny

Yes, Oregon has a nude beach. Several, in fact. No, it’s never anybody you’d actually want to see naked. Yes, there is an actual weird-ass contraption washed up on shore. No, it’s not really an unidentified “floating” object.

In 1970, engineer Robert Ensign saw a political shitstorm coming and wanted a way to pull up anchor and leave civilization behind…on the high seas. He made it to the river.

Apparently, 15 tons of ferro concrete, a paddle wheel, and a few tiny sails could float just fine but as far as maneuverability went, well, he wanted to take it someplace “not so greatly influenced by the currents as the Willamette is.” Well, shit, Sherlock, if you think the Willamette River is pushy, wait until you meet the Pacific Ocean.

He never did. He sold it and the heinous 1996 flood that turned Portland into a giant Slip-n-Slide from hell yanked it from its moorings and perched it high on the banks of Sauvie Island, never to see waves again.

I saw it in 2006, and a few naked people, too. Neither had much body art back then. But you know Portland….

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