Valentine’s Day Instructions

by allthoughtswork

Image result for naked man washing dishes

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Advice for Men: For those with game, remember to clean the kitchen* really well and shave your neck hair….

Do this without fanfare or you will telegraph your intentions and lose traction. Humorous touches appreciated, like folding the dish towels into swans and leaving little chocolate mints on the place mats. Style suggestion above.

Married guys gettin’ some, explain this to the pouting incels: Crossing the line between “being a pussy” and “getting pussy” is quick and painless and often costs you nothing. Doing something for her that makes life easier and relieves stress causes panties to drop faster than roses and wine. Unless she’s under 27, in which case I recommend a nice merlot.

If you have no game, it’s time to change the batteries in your smoke detector and the condom in your wallet.

Image result for funny condom

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Advice for Women: Get naked and wait.

*or bathroom or her car or whatever area she sincerely loathes tidying on a regular basis.

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