Nazi coffee house or coffee Nazi house? I can’t make up my mind

by allthoughtswork

Image result for angry barista

via

Now there are coffee houses who not only refuse you cream and sugar, they judge you openly while they’re doing it.

It’s called the third wave of coffee and it’s artisanal. That means if you don’t use the right kind of beans harvested in the right kind of soil from the right side of the hill after roasting them in the right kind of way and brewing them in the right kind of style with the right kind of water and the right kind of equipment into the right kind of drinking apparatus with the right kind of presentation, you’re a bad person. I hear McDonald’s Artisanal Grilled Chicken Sandwiches are artisanal, too.

For fuck’s sake, my town of Portland is even offering tours of these joints so you can step over the rabble on your way to the ultimate eight dollar Americano.

Uh…people of Earth, hear me now: It’s coffee. It ain’t law or religion, drink it however you like it. Or don’t drink it, I don’t give a shit. Hell, there’s probably a stodgy group of pinched-ass Brits somewhere in London judging you furiously for drinking the wrong tea out of the wrong China, too.

(sips instant coffee and gives computer screen the finger)

Image result for coffee funny

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6 Comments to “Nazi coffee house or coffee Nazi house? I can’t make up my mind”

  1. I love coffee, drink about 5 or 6 cups a day, but can’t stand the pretentiousness accompanying much coffee drinking these days – (says he, sipping a mug of Southern Indian coffee made from beans grown under a leafy shade with winding vanilla vines and with a smooth blend of aromatic cedar wood and peppery spice)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “For fuck’s sake, my town of Portland is even offering tours of these joints so you can step over the rabble on your way to the ultimate eight dollar Americano.” LOL – a fool and his (or her) money are easily parted.

    I’m with you – it’s a fucking coffee, get a life…

    Now, if it was beer, we’d be having another discussion 😉

    Like

    • Confession time: I’ve evolved.

      Gone are the jars of shitty instant coffee and heavy cream. They’ve been replaced with good, ol’ black coffee done cold brew style. I whip up a whole trough of it and store it in the fridge to be doled out on a breakfast basis.

      Even using good beans, it’s cheaper than before and the grounds go straight into my garden. (Probably why all the plants in that spot stand straight at attention.)

      But Portland can still shove “artisanal” right up their espresso machines.

      Like

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