Logic in the Time of Coronavirus, Part 1

by allthoughtswork

Choosing the Right Type of Gloves to Protect Your Hands - The Home Depot


My state of Oregon has decided to slow the spread of germs by letting thousands of people touch what only one person used to touch before: gas pump handles.

We had a state law that all gas stations be full service and no one could pump their own gas. This created jobs. For the fifteen years I’ve lived here, I’ve never seen a station attendant working without protective rubber gloves, because gas-hands.

Enter coronavirus, a highly transmissible killer contagion that may sit for up to two weeks on metal and plastic surfaces….

Oregon State Fire Marshall: “Fuck it, let everybody grab that handle.”

Oregon: “M’kay.”

One-Third of Drivers Only Clean Their Car Once a Year [Survey] - CarRentals.com Blog


The logic of this, and I use that term loosely, is that eventually the gas station employees will drop like flies and no one will be available to fill the tanks of “essential frontline workers.” Except that fire, police, ambulances, etc. don’t fuel up at regular gas stations, they have a private fuel dispensary regulated by the state.

And the other concern, the one about how dangerous it is for attendants to reach out and take credit cards from customers less than six feet away, well, I don’t hear anyone decrying that same practice in grocery stores, liquor stores, and Home Depot. Everyone knows humans can’t survive a pandemic without scotch and quick-drying spackle.

shades of Home Depot - Meme Guy


Now, hundreds of thousands more will be competing for that last box of latex gloves on the West Coast if only to fill the Subaru. They’ll be getting out of their vehicles, pawing the gas station equipment, smearing whatever gifts they find onto their vehicle door handles, steering wheels, keys, and credit cards, and taking it all home to their families. Well done, Fire Marshall, safety first.

Oregonians are responding to the crisis in typical level-headed fashion by buying more guns. They responded the same way to the solar eclipse and Obama’s inauguration. Blue state, my ass.

SCRUBS Meme: Snickering | liberal | Pinterest | Common sense, Punch and Prayer times



Logic in the Time of Coronavirus, Part 2

Logic in the Time of Coronavirus, Part 3

Logic in the Time of Coronavirus, Part 4

Logic in the Time of Coronavirus, Part 5


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