Time for masks, people

by allthoughtswork

Social Distancing Champion Funny Bigfoot Toilet Paper SVG, Social Distancing Champion Funny ...


Personally, I’ve been basking in this whole 6-foot-social-distancing-thing: I no longer have to endure the noxious clouds of perfume clueless women outgas around town, parents are actually parenting their demon spawn and keeping them from ricocheting off me like a pinball machine in aisle four, and I haven’t inhaled anyone’s godawful Marlboro Red toxins in a month. Except my duplex neighbors. Fuck them.

Turns out, though, six feet ain’t enough. It never was….



In any disaster, you can listen to the government or you can listen to the scientists the government is supposed to be listening to. My money’s on the Beekers:


  1. Maintain 10 feet social distance.
  2. 20 feet, if it’s outdoors.
  3. Give that guy ten seconds to pass in front of you and don’t stand downwind of anybody.
  4. Wear a mask, motherfucker. 


The scariest motherfucker of my childhood. : funny


Remember, you need a bunch of masks because you need to wash those nasty bastards after each use. I’m going to make a laundry load of these:

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