One-Liner – errm – Wednesday (night)

by ratty

Women are strange.

When you’re dating, they will spend every penny you’ve got.

But, when you get married, they will walk all over town to save a penny on a packet of biscuits !

  • Bill Toms. (An ex -workmate of mine)

10 Comments to “One-Liner – errm – Wednesday (night)”

  1. “Walk all over town” = “Straight to young Ronald’s apartment for a quick tumble where he slips her three Cadbury fingers”


  2. Sounds like my Dad. He would drive miles to buy petrol that was a penny a gallon cheaper than at the garage near home.

    Considering that it was my Mum who was the Scot, it was my Dad who was the seriously misguided tightarse.


    • I remember an old Oprah episode where a money expert was advising Oprah’s friend Gail not to drive across town to do that because she was spending more driving than she was saving at the pump. Her eyes got wide like somebody just told her where babies come from or something.

      I was dumbfounded. I mean, seriously, ladies: math. It’s not hard. You can use a calculator if you run out of fingers and toes. I know precisely how many miles it is to each of my grocery stores so that I can factor the gas expenditure into whatever sale I might be pondering. If I ain’t gonna save more than I’m gonna spend rollin’ over there, I don’t go. Simple.

      Then Oprah’s eyes got wide when a water conservation expert told her to discard used facial tissues in a wastebasket rather than flush each one down the toilet individually (because she thought an empty wastebasket kept the bathroom “looking pretty.”) Eight gallons of water per Kleenex, are you fucking kidding me? Who are these people?

      I wonder what she said when they told to tell her to stop wiping her ass with twenty dollar bills and switch to ones.


      • ” . . . so that I can factor the gas expenditure into whatever sale I might be pondering.”

        Er, isn’t petrol about 20 cents a gallon, where you are?


        • Try $2.56/gallon. My v8 truck gets just under 15 miles to the gallon.

          Math, bitches.


          • $2.56?

            Bloody luxury. It’s about $6.20/gallon over here – this is of course after I’ve used my best bitches’ math(s) to convert things a bit. We buy ours in litres these days – it doesn’t sound so expensive that way.

            I remember a few years ago when I was on business in some tiny town in New York state, the people in the office there were getting all rebellious because gas had just gone up to $1/gallon for the first time. Someone wanted to know how much it was in the UK – they were gobsmacked when I explained that it was almost a quid a litre back home, which equated to about $7 per gallon with the forex rate at the time.

            Suddenly all the whinging stopped.

            Liked by 1 person

    • I can remember when British currency was decimalised. My Mum went bonkers, saying that it was a con by the Government – “before, we had 240 pence in a pound, now we have just 100 !”


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