Author Archive

April 16, 2018

Argh! My eyes . . . My eyes!

by NobblySan

I’m just testing things out with a trial post, trying to find out why our front page is suffering an Infestation of Italics.

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March 4, 2018

Now where the fuck has he been?

by NobblySan

“Who?” I hear you ask.

“That miserable little bastard who bitches and moans about spelling, an’ grammer [sic], an’ shit.” shouts someone from the back of the room.

“William Rees-Mogg?”

“No! Not that twat. Another twat. Short bloke – getting on a bit  – lives in the North of England – used to write shite on here from time to time. Come on – you can’t have forgotten him already?”

“Oh!” an enlightened tone creeps into the waffling mood in the room “I know who you mean: I just can’t remember his name.”

“Good-looking chap – used to drive a van for Nottinghamshire county council?”

“Yeah! that’s him. Why do you want to know?”

“Well, for a start, he still owes me ten quid.”

 

 

 

 

December 9, 2017

Spot the leopard

by NobblySan

OK – we have three goats, a bunch of rocks and stuff, and a hungry snow leopard.

Now, a keen eyed goatologist and rock-n-stuff enthusiast such as myself is fine with spotting them, but where’s the bloody leopard?

Come on folks – help me out.leopard

December 8, 2017

Oh, for fuck’s sake – [no. 372 in an occasional series, showcasing truly stupid people]

by NobblySan

It would have made more sense to let the bugger die,  in order to prevent him breeding, and his offspring becoming politicians.

December 7, 2017

I wonder if she . . .

by NobblySan

. . . is familiar with the phrase “Consider yourself lucky”?

When this story first broke last year, I was horrified at the blatant sense of privilege prevailing over normal rule of law; but for the arrogant little bitch to even consider trying to appeal against her suspended sentence is just taking the piss.

If she’d been a checkout operator at Tesco she’d have been banged up for wounding after a one-day trial,  and quite rightly so.

Fucking grow up, you sad little girl, and if you aspire to be a surgeon, don’t practice on your boyfriend with a breadknife before you’re qualified.

Maybe they should get her to operate on the judge to correct his cranio-rectal inversion.

 

 

November 11, 2017

Poppy appeal / remembrance day

by NobblySan

I won’t waffle on about this, but suffice to say that I fully agree with this bloke.

I detest commercialisation, political correctness and the hijacking of good causes.

November 7, 2017

The noble art of the simple put-down

by NobblySan

November 1, 2017

What could possibly go wrong?

by NobblySan

Why was this ever considered to have been a good idea?

Which ever way you look at it, and however long you debate the pros and cons, it was always going to by just a shit idea.

Brexit?

Thinking that Boris Jockstrap would make a good Foreign Secretary?

No . . . this.

 

October 20, 2017

The end is nigh!

by NobblySan

You can always tell when a TV comedy show is dying.

It’s when the writers have wrung every last drop of originality out of the bloody thing, and are loathe to admit that they’re clueless about what to write next, yet are faced with the problem that the producer has just signed up for a further 13 episode series.

This usually applies to anything that has run to more than three series.

What normally happens then is that they start finding lame excuses to have ‘flashbacks’ to earlier episodes to fill up airtime as they can’t be arsed to write anything original.

Hold that thought folks, because I’ve just been trawling through our archives with due trepidation, in search of inspiration, only to end up covered in perspiration and in need of medication.

I was shocked and saddened by some of the stuff that I found.

October 13, 2017

Those BBC webpage layout people are at it again

by NobblySan

Don’t try telling me that this happened by a mere coincidence.

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