Something for the Wick End
Bit slow at the beginning before the real music starts
The return of Madame Pizdov
Following redundancies on the staff at The Wright-Upham Evening Gazette, we are pleased to announce that the legendary, world-renowned, and often intoxicated astrologer Madame Pizdov has agreed to join us on a temporary basis.

The secret is in how you handle the balls, see.
She has studied her star charts, read the tea leaves and shaken a bag of bones (sorry, ratty, I hope you weren’t too battered and bruised ) in order to provide her predictions for this month’s horrorscope.
Laydees an’ Gennelmen, I give you, the one, the only . . . Madame Pizdov.
Wheeres th’owd bugger been?
To one and all – apologies for my absence from this ‘ere place over the past few weeks.
There’s nowt serious up with me, so you can cancel plans for the wake and for the traditional squabbling over the inheritance.
My absence is purely down to a nasty bout of New Variant CBA, compounded by an underlying condition of being a miserable old bastard.
The CBA can be treated by a liberal daily dose of Fukkem Powders [TM], but alas, I am reliably informed by various members of the medical profession, together with my wife, that the other condition is untreatable.
Once the Fukkem Powders (available from all good pharmacies and Honest Ahmad’s corner shop) have kicked in good and proper I will be back to my fighting best. Until then, you continue to enjoy yourselves and make the most of my absence.
Cheers!