I’ve got it, the perfect solution to the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas clusterfuck that begins every year in August:
Trim a Christmas tree with Halloween candy and put a turkey angel on top.
You’re welcome.
October 18, 2019
Halloween costume idea
All you’ll need to pull it off is a beaked mask, gloves with talons, and the neighbor’s annoying little yappy dog. You know, for the demonstration.
October 2, 2019
Tip for Saving Birds
. . . between 100 million and a billion birds die in the US each year after striking windows, in the UK the British Trust for Ornithology estimated a few years ago that 100 million birds hit windows each year . . .
.
September 30, 2019
I’m with Britain on this one
A new friend just gave me a dozen fresh eggs from her free range farm. And I don’t mean free range the way the USDA defines it, I mean chickens actually out in real grass and fuckin’ fresh air, 24/7. I saw them, I petted them, I held one. Chickens are like feathered Xanax, they’re adorable.
She practices the British method of egg storage. The eggs tasted amazing and the yolks were orange, not yellow, case closed.
September 24, 2019
The photographer was lying on the ground, trying to shoot this ceiling. The pigeons were concerned.
August 31, 2019
Miami beach suicide vest
August 21, 2019
One-Liner Wednesday — #31
“Thy tongue waggles like a duck’s butt sliding down an icy hill backwards.”
–Greg Proops, Who’s Line Is It Anyway?
