Archive for ‘drugs’

August 8, 2019

Dope Fails Dope Test

by duncanr

a word of advice guys – if you’re trying to get through a drug test by passing off a sample of your girlfriend’s pee as your own, do some checking with her first before doing so, in case what happened to D.J. Cooper happens to you

Basketball player fails drug test when it finds he is pregnant

July 10, 2019

Annoying interviewer is the female version of Piers Morgan

by allthoughtswork

Is this an interview or a stoning? Every time I hear that forceful, self-important inhale of hers, I know she’s gearing up to take another whack.  This is one of the most sloped-foreheaded, uninformed, unempathetic women I’ve ever witnessed. Besides evangelists, I mean.

Come to think of it, she’s probably one of the traumatized children he’s talking about it. She sounds triggered. Hmm.

Gabor Maté is a sage. His approach to addiction and mental health removes the sting and stigma while simultaneously empowering the sufferer–let’s see religion or Prozac do that. I’ll wager my house she’s intimately acquainted with both.

June 29, 2019

The sugar industry? Not so sweet

by allthoughtswork

Regulated, my ass. The sugar industry is just a legalized cocaine cartel allowed to market to children. Makin’ America great again.

PS: Those fruit smoothies you’re slurping down aren’t the Get Out of Jail Free Cards you think they are, they’re actually worse. Your liver has approved this message.

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June 14, 2019

Conservatives: The 3C Party

by duncanr

admissions/allegations have emerged of past drug taking by some candidates seeking to become the new leader of the Conservative party in the UK . . .


March 22, 2019

Coitus Interruptus

by duncanr

too much of a good thing is not always good for your health

March 3, 2019

Poppy Pecking Parrots of Madhya Pradesh

by duncanr

peeved planters in Madhya Pradesh are getting pissed off at pesky parrots pecking and pinching their poppies to feed their opium addiction –

February 27, 2019

One-Liner Wednesday — #6

by allthoughtswork

“Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends: They’re much more concerned about getting inside you than being effective once they’re in there.”

— John Oliver


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December 29, 2018

I’m stickin’ to coffee

by allthoughtswork

20+ Cynical Comics That Will Have You Exhaling Quickly Through Your Nose


November 1, 2018


by allthoughtswork


September 1, 2018

Times, they are a’ changin’

by allthoughtswork

Image result for medical marijuana funny

My insurance company just sent me one of their annual updates to inform me that it does not cover “…bodily injury or property damage arising out of the use, sale, manufacture, distribution, delivery, transfer, possession, production, planting, growth, cultivation, harvesting, warehousing, processing, or transportation of marijuana…” but “…does not apply to the legitimate use of legally prescribed drugs, under federal law, by a person following orders of a licensed health care professional.”

Luckily, I only have mint in the backyard and I administer that, myself, via mojitos.