Never before have I been so torn between allowing the peaceful beauty of nature to wash over me and beating a tourist to death.
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September 15, 2018
Toddler? Hedgehog!
August 15, 2018
Trump Tower violates clean water laws
A black heart with blue language and orange hair pollutes a major river in the name of green. Environmental groups are seeing red–also, they’re suing his ass.
*The cartoon above is actually a 19th century commentary on the polluted river Thames but it seems wildly apropos, suddenly.
August 12, 2018
Or in my case, natural disasters
Up until way past bedtime last night witnessing rogue waves, land slides, and straight line winds. You Tube, you tempter.
August 9, 2018
Hottie in a cold, cold land
July 23, 2018
Quit yer whinging
Brits have the cheek to be appalled by the crispy Serengeti look global warming is wreaking upon their famous lawns. In Portland, Oregon, we just call that summer.
Tip: Ignore it, pour yourself something cool, and savor not dragging out the lawn mower until October. Remember, beige goes with everything.
July 1, 2018
Every time a neighbor cuts down another tree
The town next door is Beaverton, people must think it’s a dare.
June 20, 2018
Never park on the beach
Seriously, folks, don’t do it. A sneaker wave can end all your plans in seconds; a storm surge is a sneaker wave on steroids from hell. I’ve seen some shit.
