Archive for ‘exercise’

July 24, 2020

“Advancing with over half a tonne of meat on board is dangerous.”

by allthoughtswork

A Venice Gondolier

We’re too fat for Venice. Gondoliers have had to reduce the number of butts on their gondolas to avoid sinking.

Skip the gelato next time, Marge.

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July 24, 2020

Don’t call yourself “the Kraken” unless you’re rum or have tentacles

by allthoughtswork

Seattle, Washington, has a new hockey expansion team. This is the logo:

Seattle Kraken: Name, logo revealed for new franchise - Sports Illustrated

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It’s supposed to represent a scary sea monster that instills fear in the hearts of its adversaries. It looks like something a squid squeezed into a toilet bowl after two many bowls of Cap’n Crunch.

News: Cap'n Crunch's Blueberry Pancake Crunch Cereal is Here!

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Is that a menacing red eye or blood in your stool, Mr. Kraken? Take some Imodium, Washington, and try again.

July 21, 2020

Missouri school wants kids to die on the football field

by allthoughtswork

Hazelwood Central edges SLUH, sets up showdown with CBC | High School Football | stltoday.com

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Well, they may not want it but they’re game if you are.┬áJust sign their waiver absolving them of all liability if Kevin contracts COVID during a home game and he can suit up and play for the Hazelwood School District…until he dies.

Go team!

PS: California and Florida are pulling this shit, too.

July 21, 2020

When he dribbles, he drools

by allthoughtswork

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July 19, 2020

That’s a misprint, it should read “Your Children’s”

by allthoughtswork

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July 18, 2020

First half of the year is gone, already

by allthoughtswork

Funny-Tweets-By-Women

July 18, 2020

I’m an enabler

by allthoughtswork

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July 16, 2020

Crosstraining in 2020

by allthoughtswork

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July 15, 2020

(snuggles up to Blistex)

by allthoughtswork

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July 14, 2020

This is the reason for leg day at the gym

by allthoughtswork

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