Archive for ‘family’

November 9, 2019

I’m spraying Neighbors-B-Gone around

by allthoughtswork

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There is a U-Haul backed up to my neighbor’s front door this morning and I am hoping so hard, I think I broke my perky.

Are you familiar with the term “white trash?”

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October 30, 2019

Halloween COULD’VE been last weekend

by allthoughtswork

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There’s a petition going around to change the observance of Halloween from the 31rst to the last Saturday of October. This just makes all kinds of sense.

First of all, it’s much easier to recover on a Sunday. Nobody likes to see a first grader with a hangover.

October 25, 2019

I could listen to this guy all day

by allthoughtswork

October 23, 2019

One-Liner Wednesday — #40

by allthoughtswork

“The only problem I really see with polygamy is all the girls that are involved are underage. That’s the problem. Like, I don’t think I’d have a problem with polygamy if everybody that wanted to do it was over the age of forty. Let’s see how many guys wanna line up to marry me and ten of my friends. Something tells me marrying a 40-year-old with an opinion is not quite as enticing as marrying a 15-year old virgin who’s been kidnapped in a Little House on the Prairie outfit.”

Kathleen Madigan

 

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October 17, 2019

When you catch your folks having sex

by allthoughtswork

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October 16, 2019

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

by allthoughtswork

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October 5, 2019

But is it Paleo?

by allthoughtswork

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October 5, 2019

Unvaccinated kid section at Walmart

by allthoughtswork

I found the unvaccinated kid section at Walmart

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September 21, 2019

The America I grew up in

by allthoughtswork

Monkey bars set in concrete? Check!

Tall metal slide that seared my thighs? Check!

Tossed around a station wagon during a car accident? Check!

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September 18, 2019

I dare Fox to air this commercial, I fuckin’ DARE them.

by allthoughtswork