Archive for ‘humour-spelt-rite-with-a-fucking-u-in-it’

May 16, 2017

Self Harming

by ratty
There was a man (we’ll call him, Mic) who worked in a pickle factory.

For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist.

After six months, the therapist gave up.

He advised Mic to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.

The next day Mic came home from work very early.

His wife became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.

Mic tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.

He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.

She gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.

She looked up and said, “I don’t understand. What about the pickle slicer?”

Mic replied, “I think she got fired, too.”

May 2, 2017

Invisible Coffee?

by allthoughtswork

What the–? Coffee that doesn’t stain teeth?

What happened to your hard-earned UK reputation for deplorable gnashers? How do we make fun of you now?

Funny-British-10

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April 28, 2017

PROFUNDITY

by ratty
Sometimes you experience an insight so profound, that it makes you feel like you were touched by Socrates, Freud, or even Einstein.

Please ponder the example below :

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January 29, 2017

So true !

by ratty

I’m not a Grandparent, but I know what this feels like . . .

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January 9, 2017

SECURITY UPDATE

by ratty

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

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December 30, 2016

New Oz Cider

by ratty

December 24, 2016

Pick Rarefit* RIP

by sticky

It is with great sadness that we heard today of the untimely death of Pick Rarefit, co-founder and rhythm guitarist of one of The Greatest

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December 22, 2016

The MH Annual Newsletter

by ratty

We, here at Madhatter Towers, would like to take this opportunity to wish a Very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to our reader.

2016 is now on its last legs, but BOY what a year it has proved to be for us all here at the Newsdesk.

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December 14, 2016

Why Putin Envies Trump

by ratty

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December 13, 2016

More bloody PC nonsense ?

by ratty

NO NATIVITY SCENE AT WESTMINSTER THIS YEAR . . !

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the nation’s House of Commons this Christmas season.

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