Archive for ‘One-Liner Wednesday’

May 26, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #59

by allthoughtswork

“It’s about the sugar, period. Telling a diabetic an apple is healthier than a cookie is like telling an alcoholic a Bloody Mary is healthier than a shot. Try getting it past your liver.” 

–Me

via

May 20, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #58

by allthoughtswork

“You can’t find what you believe is lost.”

— Abraham-Hicks

 

The “Streetlight Effect”: a metaphor for knowledge and ignorance | Axis, Praxis

May 13, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #57

by allthoughtswork

“I started walking in the wilderness…Next thing I know, I like to walk. So I call it meditative walking versus I-gotta-be-in-the-Olympics or get-back-to-my-original-weight-of-eight-pounds-fifteen-ounces.”

–Wynonna Judd

Walk in the woods | Funny sayings/quotes | Pinterest

 

May 6, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #56

by allthoughtswork

“Wolverine is a bizarre sex object considering his proclivity for impaling women. Jean, Rogue, Mystique–all of them got knives to the liver. Tinder doesn’t have a box for that.”

— Me

Patrick Stewart Might Join Hugh Jackman In ‘Wolverine 3′

via

Tags: ,
April 29, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #55

by allthoughtswork

“Dawn rises on the Serengeti. Dawn has no idea how she got there.”

— Zoe Ann Lyons

Edinburgh Fringe: Gilded Balloon reveal first 2018 acts: The Skinny

via

April 22, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #54

by allthoughtswork

“Me and a friend went out last night, did a little bar hoppin’ on State Street, tryin’ to meet some ladies. Didn’t go too well. Eventually, my friend got pissed off. He was like, ‘Screw this, let’s go to a strip club.’ I don’t get that logic. You know, to me, that’s like going fishing, not catching anything, and being like, ‘Screw this, let’s go to the aquarium.'”

–Mark Normand

Ariel, The Little Mermaid — Best of Cosplay Collection — GeekTyrant

via

Tags:
April 15, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #53

by allthoughtswork

“If Game of Thrones tells you to tell all your friends, is that chainmail chain mail?”

–Me

DIY Game of Thrones' Iron Throne Phone Stand - YouTube

via

April 8, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #52

by allthoughtswork

“It’s very rural, Missouri, where they are. My brother lives there, he’s twenty-eight. He went to get a hunting license and when you go over to the building, they had two rooms: one for readers, one for non-readers. Yeah. And he was, like, ‘Do you think they should let people who can’t read hunt?’ I’m, like, ‘Yeah. Because if you can’t read, I think eventually, you’re gonna need to hunt.'” 

–Kathleen Madigan

Dinner Squirrel Framed Tile by dinner_squirrel

April 1, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #51

by allthoughtswork

“One thing that bugs me about religion, you never see a church with free Wi-Fi. Why is that? That bothers me. Restaurants, coffee shops, dive bars even have free Wi-Fi, never a church. I think I figured out why. I think it’s ‘cuz no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.”

— Mark Normand

via

 

January 1, 2020

One-Liner Wednesday — #50

by allthoughtswork

“Change what you do. Change your world. If enough people change their world, we change the world.”

— Sir Ken Robinson

Image result for new years resolutions funny

via