Archive for ‘Uncategorized’

March 12, 2017

This girl has balls

by NobblySan

When it comes to dealing with a medical issue and putting it firmly in its place, Katie Cooke has the right attitude . . . and then a bit more to sprinkle on top.

I wish I had her single-minded determination.

You get my vote, Katie.

March 9, 2017

Knife crime

by NobblySan

Honestly – I don’t know what the world is coming to.

Crustaceans these days are just out of control.

March 6, 2017

Life with the clan McDuncanR

by NobblySan

You, dear reader, may not be aware that our own Duncan is in fact a bit of a folk hero in his native Scotland – a legend in his own lunchtime, and  star of his own comic strip.

The baldy-heided, bearded, cantankerous father in ‘The Greens’ may seem vaguely familiar to some of you.

Below, Dunc  – err . . .. ‘Paw Green’ – shows off some of his parenting skills.


read more »

March 5, 2017

Yeah! Fucking great idea!

by NobblySan

captureOur football correspondent – Barry ‘Baz’ Thatcher –  has just been released from custody, and has filed this most interesting report into a new development in the world of the beautiful game.

Fuck me! It’s good to be out of stir, I can tell you.

There’s some right fucking criminals in there; you wouldn’t fucking believe some of the stuff they’ve been up to. Robbing, beating people up, selling drugs, an’ torturin folk wot don’t pay – and that’s just the governor’s bleedin’ secretary!

As an ex-public school lad meself I was a bit worried about doin’ stir, but most of the other lads were alright – in fact a fair few of ’em went to Eton as well, so we was OK.

Even the old “Would you be so kind as to pick up the soap for me, old bean?” in the showers wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’m still walkin’ a bit funny,  but it’s just like bein’ back at school, innit.

Anyways – back to the day job I s’pose . . .

read more »

February 26, 2017

Shit Cam Captures Family Drama

by duncanr
February 12, 2017

The Team

by MH team


This is the column where, to the palpitating hearts of its female followers and the (understandably) green-eyed jealousy of its male readers, the four administrators responsible for this august organ cast aside their assumed persona and reveal their true identities.
At fastidiously observed, regular sporadic intervals, MH will feature one of its dedicated team along with a true likeness of their real self and a brief glimpse into their awe-inspiring lifestyle – this to be followed up with a more complete profile when they can be arsed.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

! skcollob dna epirt fo daol rehtona, raed hO

That’s Klingon lingo for – “another buttock-clenching and riveting tale from NobblySan.”

. . . and a more accurate description could not be come by !

This week sees our intrepid space-travelling duo, Captain James Q. Kirk and his faithful, pointy-eared companion, Sidney Pock, patrolling Nottingham’s air space in their rocket propelled, state-of-the-art, 1991 Ford Transit van. Their mission – to crack down on illegal Intergalactic fly-tipping.

This vital job (and it’s a dirty one, but someone’s got to do it) is not without its risks, and our heroes become the recipients of verbal abuse and . . . why am I telling you all this ?

You can read all about it yourself, FFS.

Also, part one of this story can be found in the comments section where it appears in MARTIAN RED and is dated Feb. 19th 2017.

Over to you, Nobbly . . .

February 4, 2017


by NobblySan

A great start to my favourite sporting tournament.



February 1, 2017

Kevin Norman Gray

by duncanr

white-lilythis morning I awoke to the news a fellow blogger had died

his blog – Nothing to do with Arbroath – was the first I, and many others, read each morning

sadly, towards the end of last year, he announced he had lung cancer; Jan 16, the doctors gave him just months to live; that proved to be hopelessly optimistic – this morning, I learned he passed away Jan 22

a famously private man, it is only now, after his death, that we have learned his full name – we’d known him for years simply as ‘Kev’

he will be sadly missed by many folk around the world

R.I.P. Kevin Norman Gray

January 21, 2017


by ratty



Intae the wids amongst the trees.
Tam bared his erse, his cheeks to ease.
Nae sinner hud his breeks gan doon.
Than shitty flees were swarming roon.


read more »

January 16, 2017


by NobblySan

Scotland has been subjected to this authoritarian bastard’s bullying on more than one occasion, so when the chance was presented to give a little back – someone took it.