Archive for ‘USA’

November 27, 2019

One-Liner Wednesday — #45

by allthoughtswork

“When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar. You’re only telling the world that you fear what he might say.”

— George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

 

List of fired White House staff

November 27, 2019

Thanksgiving

by duncanr


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November 25, 2019

How Not to be an Arsehole

by duncanr

somewhat quaint training film created in 1943 by the United States Office of War Information advising troops heading to the UK how to behave when visiting british pubs in order not to offend the locals . . .

November 16, 2019

Life in America: a Kiwi Perspective

by duncanr

November 10, 2019

Why do Americans vote on Tuesday? Nobody knows

by allthoughtswork

It made sense in 1845, but this is 2019 and American employers are allowed to fire their employees if they take off work to cast their ballot.

You smell that? Smells like bullshit.

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November 4, 2019

Best. Joke. Ever.

by allthoughtswork

One of Trump’s aides told him that he had a dream where the military had a parade for Trump. There were millions of people there smiling and cheering.

Trump said, “Was I happy?”

The aide said, “I don’t know, the casket was closed.”

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November 4, 2019

The No Elk Left Behind program

by allthoughtswork

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November 3, 2019

Did you fall back this morning…into bed?

by allthoughtswork

Image result for after daylight saving time funny

An extra hour of Daylight Saving Time did nothing for me. It took that long to reset all 14 clocks around the place–ten minutes to fiddle with them and fifty minutes to remember where the hell they all were.

And it’s California’s fault. Apparently, Oregon and Washington voted to end this nonsense but without the other state in our time zone piling on, it can’t be executed. Which is bullshit because Arizona hasn’t participated since the 60s. Except the Navajo nation.

Which sort of fucks up my Native American meme. Yah-ta-hey.

November 2, 2019

Big tits and bony asses: Today’s dairy cows are basically super models

by allthoughtswork

Image result for dairy cows a hundred years ago

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Image result for massive dairy cow udder

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Did you know most U.S. dairy cows are descended from just two bulls?

You see, dairy farmers don’t like cows with body fat. They figure a skinny one is turning all her feed into milk, not fat, so they’ve been choosing bulls that tended to produce Kate Moss instead of Ashley Graham. Because science.

“We’ve kind of selected for tall, thin, cows,” Dechow says. “And that’s a really bad combination. They’re infertile, unhealthy. So we need to get away from that.”

Because accurate science. Somebody tell Kate.

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October 27, 2019

Gobble, gobble

by allthoughtswork

I’ve got it, the perfect solution to the Halloween-Thanksgiving-Christmas clusterfuck that begins every year in August:

Trim a Christmas tree with Halloween candy and put a turkey angel on top.

You’re welcome.

Image result for christmas tree made of candy

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Image result for turkey close up

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