Archive for ‘USA’

July 9, 2020

Only difference between this and my neighborhood is my neighborhood has fewer waiters

by allthoughtswork

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July 8, 2020

This is edifying

by allthoughtswork

I have always found white skin rather blank and thin bodies kinda empty from a personal preference. Women’s fashion magazines bored me to tears. That shit is a goal? Why? Nobody could explain to me why.

Us pale scrawnies are actually the smallest percentage on the planet, anyway, and getting smaller and smaller each year as the population blends together, so we’re really just a novelty act on its way out. We should shut the fuck up and embrace the wave, baby.

July 7, 2020

Oh, this is going to be goooood!

by allthoughtswork

Mary Trump’s book chronicles how a dysfunctional family ‘created the world’s most dangerous man’

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Trump’s niece, a psychologist, has published a scorching tell-all about the origins of his psychoses and a judge just lifted the family’s attempt to block its release. 75,000 first-run copies have already been sent to bookstores and Amazon is set to pop.

Spoiler alert: Mr. Bone Spurs paid a kid to take his SATs for him!

Looking forward to the impending Tweetnado.

July 7, 2020

Daily Comedy: My gay friend’s inner Liam Neeson came out

by allthoughtswork

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July 6, 2020

Me, anywhere three inches outside my front door

by allthoughtswork

via

I don’t know what it is this year but I’ve got sixteen fucking bites from my belly down to my ankles. They don’t just itch, they itch with a nuclear intensity that kills souls and I can’t fall asleep at night without ice packs on each of them to dull the desire to tear the flesh from my bones.

Some of them have morphed into red patches of raised pustules weeping fluid that I have to bandage before I leave the house lest onlookers accuse me of leprosy or share their COVID with me via these handy entry points. I’ve bought more athletic tape and sterile gauze this spring than all other springs combined. At one point, the pustules blended with April’s contusion in a dermatological fault line to create an Uber-sore.

This has been going on since May. Every fucking night and day since May. Yes, I wear DEET. Yes, I avoid foliage. Yes, I’m pretty sure it’s some kind of spider-of-Satan but I’m at a loss as to how to avoid the little bastards considering I’m a landscape designer.

This is one bite–ONE.

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July 5, 2020

The Grim Orange Reaper

by allthoughtswork

Satirical illustration by John Holcroft.

Satirical illustration by John Holcroft.

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July 5, 2020

How stupid are Trumpers, you ask?

by allthoughtswork

Do They Actually Think Trump Is Using His Own Money

Socialism

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July 5, 2020

Explains why Trump can only write with fat Sharpies

by allthoughtswork

I Turned My 100 Bug Doodles Into A Book

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July 5, 2020

The Freedom Cafe

by allthoughtswork

Continued….

July 4, 2020

Speaking of freedom….

by allthoughtswork

Civil War

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