Posts tagged ‘12 days’

December 12, 2017

The 12 STIs of Christmas

by duncanr

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December 5, 2017

Bob Mueller Gave to Me . . .

by duncanr

December 23, 2016

A Tale of Avian Misery

by duncanr
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December 12, 2011

On the 12th Day of Christmas (1) . . .

by duncanr

(author – stickybud)

’twas halfwise through December
that day I well remember
awaked at seven of the clock
not by the straining of the cock
nor flickering of ember

cacophony beyond the keep
was what disturb’d my beauty sleep
an army, surely, on the rise
dispelling dream-sand from my eyes
that shook the air so deep

i cast aside the . . .

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December 12, 2011

On the 12th Day of Christmas (2) . . .

by duncanr

(author – becoming bitter)

After being bailed out by his mother, Allesklar came to school the next day.

“How pathetic of you Allesklar… screwing women who are already taken.”

“Bitter be quiet, let Nobbly handle this.”

“No Julie let Bitter . . .

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December 11, 2011

On the 11th Day of Christmas (1) . . .

by duncanr

An eldritch scream rent the night air

‘Oi, watch it’, cried the night air, holding her rent parts together

The source of the scream was lying in the clearing, bare-arsed, an empty whisky bottle clutched in his hand, staring fearfully into the mist swirling through the trees.

‘Bugger’, she cried, putting her fingers in her ears ‘Xmas again already’

Sure enough, a faint wailing sound came . . .

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December 11, 2011

On the 11th Day of Christmas (2)

by duncanr

(author – allesklar)

“You don’t understand.” said NobblySan to the hooded figure beside him. “It’s the worst pipe band in the world, and eleven of them are marching down here today, led by one duncanr.”

The wafting breeze bore a faint crescendo of bagpipes, and Bitter (for it was she) exclaimed: “Why, they don’t sound bad at all.”

“It’s not the music,” replied Nobbly, grimacing as the pipers came into view, and the . .

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December 10, 2011

On the 10th Day of Christmas . . .

by duncanr

(author – becoming bitter)

As Julie walked home a car was driving by. Suddenly, the driver slowed down and put the car into reverse. He came to smooth stop next to her.

“Want a ride love?”

It was Bud, one of the ten lords of erotic poetry at her university.

“No thanks.”

He wasn’t that awful compared to . . .

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December 9, 2011

On the 9th Day of Christmas . . .

by duncanr

(author – becoming bitter)

Sprinting down the hall, Julie arrived at the door to the girl’s locker room. Turning the cold metal knob, she opened the door and stepped inside. The stench of perfumed corpses hung in the air. Shit! She’d been too late. The nine ladies, bitches, from the track team were already here. Now she would have to walk home in her sweaty, stinky, and disheveled state or wait two hours before getting a shower. Only two standing showers were built inside.

She contemplated taking a quick shower in the men’s locker room but . . .

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December 8, 2011

On the 8th Day of Christmas . . .

by duncanr

(author allesklar)

There’s a problem with tomorrow Sir.

No the milkmaid’s strike has been called off, but there’s another problem… 
Remember we had a contract with that farmer for supply of 8 milking cows. Well he’s come in with seven cows and a bull sir.

At first we couldn’t get any of the girls to milk the bull, Sir. Yes that’s OK now, Sir, because it turned out that the bull rather likes to be milked.. Yessir, I mean no, there’s a different problem, Sir – the Legal Department says that . . .

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